The same gut-churning worry I felt when she didn’t show up for TV time reappears. “Do you remember last night? I can’t.”
Her cheeks flame. “Yeah. You don’t remember anything?”
“Just light.”
“You don’t remember kissing me?”
My jaw drops. “We kissed?”
“Yeah.”
“Why aren’t we in trouble?”
“The Prophet made us do it. All of us were—” She falls silent as Abigail putters around behind us, then returns to the sink. “Doing stuff together. Like, forbidden stuff. But it was all okay. Because—” She shrugs “—he told us to do it.”
“Sarah?” I clench my teeth together as Abigail pushes the warm liquid inside me.
“Squeeze, dear. Just keep it in for as long as you can.” She pats my ass, which isn’t helpful, then moves on to the Maiden on my left.
“Her, too. But when we left, she stayed behind.”
My stomach drops. “That’s bad.”
“I know.” She clams up as another Spinner walks over and eyes us.
I try to plot a way to see Chastity. She’ll know what happened to Sarah, and maybe she can finally tell me what she knows about Georgia. Maybe if I can sneak out of my room during afternoon prayers—
The double doors swing open and Grace strides in. Sarah follows, her usual white dress now embroidered with a red cross over her heart. What the?
“Sisters, rejoice for Sarah who has received the Prophet’s gift.”
“We rejoice for you and your blessing.” The Spinners say it as one, and chills race down my spine.
Sarah doesn’t look up, her usual spark gone, as she shuffles in and sheds her dress.
“Okay, let it go.” Abigail pats my backside.
I release and sag from the relief, but my gaze returns to Sarah. She kneels on the floor next to one of the Spinners who’s instructing a Maiden on breath play, her hands wrapped around the girl’s throat.
Abigail uses baby wipes on me, and once I’m clean, she points to the training floor and motions another Maiden to take her turn.
I walk over to Sarah and sit next to her. I can’t say anything, not with a Spinner right there, but I reach out with my fingers and brush her thigh. She flinches away from me, her eyes huge.
“You two, let’s practice.” The Spinner releases her grip on the Maiden and lets her roll out of the way. “Delilah, you get on your back. Sarah, you will play the man.”
I obey and remain still as Sarah straddles me. The faraway look in her eye is something so different than her usual fire that I want to reach out to her again. But I don’t. She’s shaken, fearful, and somehow vacant.
“Now, apply light pressure.” The Spinner takes Sarah’s palms and presses them to my throat.
Sarah squeezes lightly.
“You need to stop her breath. Control her.” The Spinner leans over me. “Don’t press on the front, use the sides of your hands. That also stops blood flow, which leads her to the edge of passing out. That’s what we want.”
She doesn’t change her grip.
“Sarah!” The Spinner’s cross bark cuts through the room. “Do as instructed.”
I reach up and pat her waist to let her know it’s okay. As soon as my fingers brush her skin, she grips tighter, leaning forward and using her weight on my windpipe. “Don’t touch me. Don’t you ever touch me again.”
“Sarah,” I try to say, but I can’t get the word out.
“Too much.” The Spinner furrows her brow. “Sarah.” She grabs her forearm, but Sarah shoves her off and returns her hand to my throat.
“Don’t you ever fucking touch me again.” Her eyes are wild, and she isn’t seeing me.
I grip her wrists as my lungs begin to burn.
“Sarah!” Susannah yells and runs up behind her, wrapping her arms around her torso. “Let her go. It’s Delilah!” She yanks as the Spinner finds her feet and draws her baton.
Sarah won’t let go, and my world fades.
The familiar thunk of a baton hitting flesh adds little sparks to the black dots flooding my vision. Another thunk, and Sarah falls beside me. I drag in some ragged breaths and struggle to sit up.
“Sarah.” I reach for her but stop.
Tears pool in her eyes and leak down to the mat, and now she seems to see me. “Delilah? I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” I tentatively stroke her hair away from her face. “I’m getting used to chokings these days.” I do my best attempt at a smile.
Sarah doesn’t return it. “I’m sorry,” she whispers.
“It’s okay. Really.” I touch my neck. The damage isn’t nearly as bad as it was with Newell. “I’ll heal right up. Are you all right?” I don’t know where the Spinner hit her.
“No touching, Maiden.” The Spinner sticks the baton in my face, and I drop my hand.
“I’m sorry,” Sarah whispers again.
“I promise I’m fine.”
The baton knocks me on the temple, but not hard enough to really hurt. “No talking either.”