“I’m coming right now,” I say, jumping out of bed. I grab everything I can, the phone still pressed to my ear.
“All right, I’ll text you the address. He’s been in and out of consciousness. He just keeps saying your name.”
A sob rips from my throat
“Julie, he’s going to make it, but I’m not going to lie to you, he’s rough. He got hit with a shit ton of blow back off an IED. He took a lot of shrapnel and has some bad burns, but that’s it. He’s lucky it wasn’t worse. Internally he’s fine.”
“Thank God,” I hiccup into the phone.
“Just get here. I’m sure once you’re here he’ll calm down. He keeps having nightmares, and every time he wakes, he’s screaming your name. It takes four of us to hold him down, so we’re thinking if you’re here it might help.”
“I’ll be there as quick as I can.”
Dropping my phone onto the bed, I hurriedly get dressed and pack a bag. When Lucias texts me the information, I forward it to my mom so she can book me a flight. I’m not wasting any time. She can make the travel plans while I drive to the airport.
“I’m coming, baby,” I whisper.
Chapter Nine
ABE
I feel the fire on my face. My nightmare always starts the same. It’s burning hot, and I can’t find Julie anywhere. She’s here, but I don’t know where she is. I keep screaming her name as the explosion goes off and takes a part of me with it, the pain shooting through my body.
Days have passed, or so they tell me. Everything seems so jumbled around, and all I can feel is pain. I’m in and out, and every time I wake I seem to be somewhere else. I just keep seeing the explosion happen right in front of me, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. Each time the explosion goes off I see her reaching for me, calling my name. I need to get Julie out of here. I need to keep her safe, but as quick as she’s there she’s gone again, I can’t find her.
“Julie! Julie!” I feel the heavy weight on me again, and it helps to ease some of my fear. It’s my brothers holding me down, I know it, but I can’t connect reality to my dreams. They are both twisted together and distorted.
“Abe?”
It’s barely a whisper, but I know it’s her. I struggle harder to try to get to her.
“Calm down, goddamn it. If you don’t pull it together, the nurse is going to sedate you again. Julie’s here, man. Just calm down and we’ll bring her over.”
I can feel the bandages covering most of my face, but I can still make out some of her silhouette in the distance. I can’t imagine what I look like. From what I remember from the doctors, I have second-degree and some third-degree burns over forty percent of my body, but I was lucky not to have any major damage. I’ve gotten a few glimpses of myself, and it isn’t good. I start to sit up again, but I feel Lucias stop me, pushing me back down onto the bed.
“Just lie back and be easy. We are trying to do this for the both of you, but you’ve got to be calm.”
“Okay.” That word is all I can manage through my dry mouth. At some point I must have had a tube down my throat, because it sounds like I’ve been gargling with gravel and battery acid.
The lights are dimmed down low, but I can see as she approaches the bed. I can feel her light touch through the bandage on my hand, but suddenly I feel her jerk away.
“Oh god, Abe.”
Flashes of the IED going off mix with my nightmares of Julie, and I get confused about what really happened that day. At the sound of her voice, memories and dreams start to bombard my mind. I shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts, but all I see is fire and smoke, and all I hear is her screaming for me.
With my bandages distorting my view, she looks like an angel. My perfect, sweet, little angel. What a pair we would make now. With burns covering my body and the rage I feel coursing through me, I have to look pretty damn close to the devil himself. I wasn’t good enough for her before, but now I couldn’t even try to pretend.
“Get her out of here.” Silence falls across the room, and I try to breathe through the pain. It’s all coming in flashes now, and I’m afraid of what I might do. I can feel the anger rising in me, a rage that wants to burst free at all I’ve lost.
“Abe, calm down. It’s okay. You’re here and you’re safe.”
“Lucias, I said get her the fuck out of here. Now.”
“Baby, don’t do this. I love you. I’m not going anywhere.” The soft plea in her voice wraps around my heart, but all I can feel is the anger consuming me, eating me alive.
When I turn to look at her, I can see she’s moved closer and I can make out more of her now. She looks like she’s been crying all night. She’s a mess, but still just as gorgeous as the last time I saw her, and I just want to take her in my arms and hold her. I want to tell her I love her, but I can’t. I’m too fucked up for her. She deserves better than what’s left of me. She needs more than pieces.
“I don’t want you here. Get out.”
I can see the pain visibly hit her, and it tears me apart inside.
She looks to Lucias, and he nods towards the door.
“Abe, sweetheart, please.”
“‘Sweetheart’, Julie? Do I look like someone’s sweetheart?”
“You’re my sweetheart.”
Her words tug at me but it’s not what I want. I prefer the rage and anger. It’s easier to process right now. Gripping the bedside bar, I give one hard yank, ripping it right off the bed. I throw it at the wall next to Lucias, who doesn’t even flinch. It makes a dent in the drywall before hitting the ground with a thud.