“Get her the fuck out!” I bellow, bringing two nurses rushing into the room.
Julie stares at me for a beat before she turns and walks out of the room without so much as a glance back, and I see Mac follow behind her. I look around and everything is blurry, but I can make out the shapes of Scribe and Lucias. Whatever the nurse just pushed into my IV must be working fast.
“You two, get the fuck out as well.”
Lucias walks closer to the bed, not listening to me. “I know you’re hurting, brother, so I’m going to let you have some space, but I’ll be outside that door for as long as you’re here, watching your back.”
“I don’t need your sympathy. Just get the fuck away from me. All of you.”
After a moment they exit the room.
I lie there, thinking about what happened to me as I feel the drugs kick in, and I drift off to sleep. The nightmare grips me instantly, only this time, Julie is the one holding the IED, and she’s coming for me. I see myself in her eyes as she sets off the blast, and I look like a monster.
A savage monster.
Chapter Ten
JULIE
I put my face in my hands, and I sob. I don’t think I’ve cried more in my life than I have in the past week. I’m not sure how I have any tears left to shed. Abe still refuses to see me. I should be thrilled that he’s going to make it, but his not wanting to see me is ripping me apart. It’s been five days, and each time he refuses to let me into the room, a little part of my heart dies.
I feel a warm hand rub circles on my back, and I know without looking who it is.
“They are sending him home today,” Mac says as she continues to rub my back. I’m thankful she’s here. She’s been with me most of my time here, just sitting outside in the hospital lobby. She even let me crash with her.
“He’s not going to let me see him, is he?” I ask, already knowing her answer. Oddly enough, she hasn’t told me I should leave, though. I think we all keep thinking that he’s going to give in and let me see him, but he hasn’t.
“Maybe it’s best you head back home. Maybe when you both get back to Kansas City, he’ll see how much of a dipshit he’s being.”
“When are you guys heading out?”
“I’m not. Well, not to Kansas City anyway. I have to report back to the Air Force. Scribe and Lucias are going back with Abe. I don’t think either have to go back out there. They all only had six months left on their contracts, and I know they planned to be done after those months were up. But with this happening and their team pretty fucked up, it’s a safe bet they’ll keep them stateside.”
“Thank you for everything,” I say, turning to look at her. I don’t know how I would have done it out here without her. Mac doesn’t say a lot, but she was a solid shoulder for me for the past few days
“No need to thank me. I’m doing what’s right, what’s right for him. He may not let you into that room, but he sure keeps asking where you are. And I’m guessing if someone didn’t have an answer, he might lose it again.”
“God, I just don’t get him right now. He’s so worried about me, but he’s causing me all kinds of pain. Doesn’t he get that?” I huff, frustration coloring my words.
“Julie, I like you, and I know my boy in that room loves you,” She nods to the doorway, her black hair brushing her shoulders. “He’s like a fucking brother to me. You have no idea what it was like to have to watch the bomb go off, and there wasn’t shit I could do about it. Fuck, I was a good thousand yards from them when it went off, and all I could do was sit and watch through the scope of my gun. I’ve never felt so powerless…” Her words trail off, but I can see the pain all over her face.
Taking a deep breath, she continues. “When you spend hours on missions with people, you learn a lot about them. I’m sure you know Abe didn’t have a great home life, that he’s been planning to make one with you, been counting down to it, and well…that literally just got blown to hell for him.”
I flinch at her reference. “But it doesn’t have to be this way—”
“I know that,” she says, cutting me off. “But he sure as shit doesn’t. These men are bull headed when they set their mind to something, and that’s just how it’s going to be.”
I know she’s right. I wanted Abe to marry me and make me his before he left, but he had something else in mind, and that was exactly what happened. He got his way.
“You telling me to walk away, Mac?” I ask around the lump in my throat.
“Yeah, I’m telling you to walk away. What you do when you walk is up to you, but I suggest you get yourself back to school. If he isn’t going to let you in, he isn’t going to let you in. Sitting outside his room isn’t doing anything but causing you both more pain. When he’s ready, he’ll come for you.”
“And if he never comes?”
“Then Abraham is gone. The man sitting in that room is no longer the man who left you six months ago, and to be honest, he might not be something you want.”
“I don’t care who’s in the room, I’ll take any piece of him I can get,” I plead with her, trying to get her to understand.
“I know you would, but that doesn’t mean he wants to give it.” She leans in closer to me. “He’ll come for you when he’s ready.”