I heard Brenda screaming at Celia, calling her names,
and then I was shocked to hear her call me names. too.
Her anger was spilling over everyone. She was
running people together, cursing, berating my father,
Mama. Celia and me, coaches, anyone or everyone
she had any contact with. The shouting seemed to go
on for twenty minutes before she stopped and there
was a heavy silence.
Should I go to her? I wondered. Should 1
explain? This wasn't my fault. I hadn't asked Celia to
come to me. Why does she hate me so much? She'll hate me even more now. Everytime she'll look at me,
she'll see what she saw happening here.
I stepped back and closed the door. Then I sat
on my bed and thought.
Here I was in a school I hated to be in, living in
a small shack, and now rejected by the one person at
the school I thought would like me. Here I was living
with my sister and her lover, and my sister, who was
never really overjoyed about having to care for me,
now saw me as someone evil and disgusting. Whom did I have? Who was I. really? Would I
ever find my name. as Peter predicted? He was so
good for me. He made me think of so many wonderful
things. Now, I couldn't see myself returning to the
chess club and sitting across from him.
What should I call all this, checkmate? Had life.
Bad Luck, proved too difficult to defeat? I had lost en
passant. Just passing through here, I had been
thwarted, vanquished, beaten again.
I don't belong anywhere, I thought.
And then I thought. I know where I should be. I