Suddenly, Rainier pushes me off his lap. He pulls me to my feet, turns me around and pins me against the wall. My palms collide with cold marble tiles.
He pulls my pants and my underwear down. They get stuck around my knees but I don’t have time to push them all the way off because in the next moment I feel the damp head of his cock pressing against the small of my back.
I draw a deep breath. I can still remember how big Rainier is. There wasn’t really any pain the first time, none of the tearing Dr. Carver tried to scare me about, but I do remember feeling stretched and full. I anticipate that now.
“Ellis,” Rainier whispers my name into my ear and plants a kiss on the back of my shoulder as he cups my breasts.
A shiver of delight rushes down my spine. My body relaxes.
“Just do it,” I tell him.
His hands travel down my sides. One of them grips my hips. The other slips inside my wet folds and makes me gasp. He reaches in deeply and scissors his fingers, stretching me. Then he withdraws his fingers and the head of his cock prods me.
I purse my lips as it pushes in slowly, trying to hold my moans back. After starting out slow, though, Rainier suddenly gives a hard thrust and I let out a cry as he fills me.
God, he’s big. I wonder if I’ll ever get used to this.
Wait. Am I thinking of having more sex with Rainier?
That question remains unanswered as another thrust sends my thoughts flying out of my head. He moves slowly at first, rocking my hips gently with his, then he starts pounding into me.
My nails scrape the tiles. My head falls between my arms and a golden mess covers my face. I close my eyes and try to soak in every drop of pleasure filling me up. My nerves buzz. My skin catches fire.
God, this is amazing.
At least, I think it is until Rainier starts stroking my clit, too. My knees tremble.
Pleasure from the front and the back? I’m not sure how much more of this I can take.
When I finally reach my limit, I throw my head back. A loud cry rips through my throat. My body trembles all over.
Rainier grabs my chin and presses his lips to mine as he keeps moving. I don’t have the strength to kiss him back. He breaks the kiss at the same time he pulls out. His hard cock presses against my back. I feel it pulsate as he grunts and then I feel a splash of something warm against my skin.
A moment later, he wraps his arms around me and pulls me against him. He pants in my ear. I rest my head against his shoulder, exhausted.
But alive. I can feel my heart pounding in my rib cage. I can still feel the adrenaline and the heat in my veins.
Dr. Carver’s right. There’s nothing like sex to make you feel alive, which you need in a place where death looms around every corner. When you feel most alone, there’s nothing like the sensation of warm skin against yours, like the feel of a heart beating with yours in the silence.
That silence breaks as Rainier speaks. “You know, I think we need a shower.”
“Yeah,” I agree with him. “I think so, too.”
I still have the tear stains on my cheeks, after all. And now, I have semen on my back.
Well, at least he didn’t come inside me and risk getting me pregnant.
I take off my pants and my underwear, which are still wrapped around my ankles, and add them to the pile of clothes on the floor. I throw them out of the stall along with my shoes. The curtain rustles and falls back into place.
I give Rainier a grin. “Luckily, we’re in the perfect spot for a shower.”
“That we are.” He takes off the rest of his clothes and tosses them out as well along with his shoes.
As he turns on the shower, he kisses me again. In spite of the fact that I’m tired, not just from the sex but also from all the drama this morning, fresh excitement bubbles up in my veins and flutters in my stomach.
Damn it. What is up with this man and his kisses that I can never get enough of?
I almost think he’s not going to stop, but he does. He pulls his lips away from mine and touches my cheek as he looks into my eyes.
“Feel better?”
I nod. I’m still sad I lost a patient in the OR today. I still wish I could have saved her. But I’m not hurting so much anymore. I’m no longer overwhelmed with grief or guilt. I feel like I just might be able to get by.