Forever Right Now

“They take Olivia tomorrow morning through Wednesday,” Jackson said. “You have this weekend to study, and then the Big Test, which you are going to kill.”

Sawyer nodded. “So we can go? Right now I just want to get back to Olivia.”

We left the courthouse. The sun was high and golden, and almost as bright as Jackson’s smile as we walked to the sedan he said his company had given him to use. It seemed the entire world was different from the one we woke up in this morning.

“So, Darlene, what’s going on with you?” Jackson asked as we walked to the parking lot. “Have any fun plans this weekend?”

I gave a small laugh at his infallible humor and optimism.

“Uh, yeah, I have a dance thing Saturday night.”

In my peripheral, Sawyer raised his head. With effort, I kept my eyes on Jackson. “It’s totally no big deal, though. Tiny little show in a nothing theatre. Like, fifty capacity.” I laughed nervously. “If we fill ten seats I’d consider it a success.”

“Damn, my brother’s got a graduation party tomorrow night in Oakland, or I’d totally show up,” Jackson said. “I didn’t know you were part of a dance company.”

“I wouldn’t call it a company,” I said. “It’s super small. I just auditioned to dip my foot back in the waters, you know?”

We arrived at the sedan and the driver opened the door for us. “Well, break a leg,” Jackson said. “Wait, am I supposed to say that for dancers, or just actors?”

“If you’re wishing me luck, I’ll take it.”

We climbed in and once again, I was wedged between Sawyer and Jackson. My thigh pressed against Sawyer’s and I felt every place where we touched, just the same as we had on the way over.

Except now I know I’m in love with him.

The car dropped us off first. Jackson climbed out to say goodbye. He pulled Sawyer into a hug.

“I’ll drive you to Sac on Sunday, but just know you’re going to kill it. You’re ready.”

“Thank you,” Sawyer said. “For everything.”

“You did all the heavy lifting.” Jackson turned his smile to me. “And you go bring that fifty-seat house down with your dance, okay?” He raised his eyebrows meaningfully. “Where is it again? And what time? Just in case I can sneak out of the party early.”

“Um, eight o’clock at the Brown Bag Theatre, off Capp Street? But really, it’s cool. You don’t have to. It’ll take longer to find parking than to watch the actual show.”

“That’s what these babies are for,” Jackson said and tapped the roof of the car. “Or Ubers. Or cabs. Or trains. Or buses,” he said at Sawyer, then grinned. “Take care, you two.”

Outside our house, Sawyer carved a hand through is hair.

“Thank you for coming today.”

“I didn’t do anything…”

“You did,” Sawyer said. “It was good to have you there. I think it helped me to find the words when I needed them most.”

A warmth spread through my chest. “I’m glad I could help,” I said in a small voice.

Sawyer turned his gaze to the Victorian. “I don’t want to go to Sacramento,” he said. “I feel like I’m losing whatever time I have left with her. I’m too scared to let myself think today was anything but a stay of execution.”

I touched his hand. “The Abbotts are good people. Even if they get custody, I feel like they won’t cut you out. You’ll have partial custody, or visitation…”

“I don’t want that,” Sawyer said, his eyes hard. “I want full custody. All the time.”

“I know you do. But I think, somehow, it will be all right. In a way that we can’t see yet.”

He nodded. “I can’t fall apart right now. Or at all, I guess. Not until after the exam.” He looked up at me suddenly, the anguish pulling at him again. “Five days, Darlene. Jesus, I wish…”

“What?” I asked softly. “Tell me.”