“You didn’t see them kissing. You saw him grabbing her and threatening her. That’s what you saw. Maybe you couldn’t see it clearly because of the shadows. Jodi told me he even tried to kiss her. Maybe that’s what you saw, I don’t know. But shutting her down and not even listening was wrong.”
“I don’t believe you. That all sounds like a load of excuses to me.”
“Lucas is in jail now for drugs and petty crime. He wanted money from Jodi to pay off debts.”
“Who the fuck is Lucas anyway?” I toss my hands in the air, frustrated. “I don’t understand any of this.”
Millie sucks in a couple of breaths, trying to steady her thoughts. I can almost see the cogs in her brain spinning far too fast. “Okay, sorry, let me explain. I’m too angry to do this properly. Jodi came to Las Vegas after all her trouble in New York. You know about that, right?”
“I sort of know something. There was some trouble with a guy she went out with, right?”
“Yeah . . . I mean, that’s putting it mildly, but yeah. She came here to get away from it, and Lucas just lured her in. He pretended to be very much something he isn’t, and Jodi needed that. It was only later on that his gambling addiction and much darker side came out. That’s when they split up.”
“So why are they still in touch? That doesn’t make any sense. If they split up, then what’s the point?”
“Because she feels very sorry for him. He lost both his parents in a horrible accident, and she’s always felt a level of responsibility for him. I suppose he relied on her, and she was too afraid to let him go. The deeper the addiction got, the more it became a horrible emotional abuse too, which Jodi struggled to get out of. I know she did because even when I tried to help her, she got sucked back in over and over again.”
“But she’s such a strong person. I don’t understand how that would even happen.”
“She’s strong with an open heart. Plus, she’s had troubles herself, so she wants to help everyone.”
“Yeah, I suppose that makes sense. I can see that in her.”
“Exactly, so she just wanted to help him, and this time he got even more desperate. He told her there were people about to kill him if he didn’t give them money, and since he’s driven everyone else away with his behavior, she’s all he has left. Jodi felt bad. She didn’t want to think about him dead . . .”
“But we were seeing one another. Why didn’t she tell me this was going on?”
“Because it got nasty. He threatened you, too, and the casino. She thought it was too new, that it would push you away. She just wanted to handle it without getting you involved. She didn’t want to bring you into drama that she’s always dealt with herself before then. She’s so independent. Too independent.”
“Well, that’s just stupid. That’s absolutely ridiculous. She should have asked me for help.”
“Maybe so, but it’s easier to say that with hindsight. At the time, it wasn’t easy.”
“Hmm, I suppose so. But that doesn’t explain why she was kissing him.”
“She wasn’t kissing him, you idiot. She loves you. She’s loved you for a long time.”
The word love hits me like a knife in the chest. I don’t want to think about it in the same context as Jodi, not anymore. Especially since Millie has me all churned up in knots now with her words.
“I don’t know why you’re here, Millie. Too much time has passed anyway. We’re done.”
“That’s just your stupid pride talking. You don’t really mean that. I know it.”
“No, Millie. I really don’t know what to think about what you’re telling me. It all just sounds ridiculous. Some ex-boyfriend threatening her for drug money. She doesn’t even have any money.”
“She doesn’t have money because she’s always bailed him out. But you do.”
“Are you telling me that he went after her because of me?”
“Because he was jealous, he didn’t want her to move on, and he also wanted to blackmail her into giving him money. He told her he had the guys who were threatening to kill him surrounding your casino, ready to kill you. She thought he was going to either murder you or ruin your casino. She was scared. That’s why she went outside to talk to him alone—she didn’t want you to get hurt. Don’t you remember seeing her afterward? She was covered in bruises and all dirty. Or were you too wrapped up in your own pride to see anything other than anger? I saw you that night, so I already know the answer.”
“Alright, fine,” I concede while darting my eyes downward. “Maybe I was enraged.”
“But plenty of time has passed now. You’ve had lots of time to pull your head out of your ass and start acting like a normal human being. Yet, somehow, you still aren’t doing that. You’re ignoring Jodi’s calls and messages, her texts, her emails, her voice mails. All of it. Just because of your pride.”
“It isn’t because of my pride. It’s because we need a clean break to move on.”
“To move on why? She didn’t do anything wrong? Why do you still need to be so stubborn?”