Burning with Lust (The Vegas Men 1) - Page 43
“Because it just proved that we aren’t meant to be together. She isn’t my soul mate or whatever.”
“Now who’s being stupid? Honestly, I haven’t ever heard anything quite like it.”
“Why are you here, Millie? I assume you’ve come for more than to tell me to call her back. I can see it in your eyes. So, since we’re about to hit a dead end, you might as well get it off your chest.”
“It isn’t my place to say it. I feel really bad in doing so, but I have to. I can’t just sit back and let everyone make silly mistakes around me when I know what the answer is. You need to talk to each other.”
“What is it, Millie? I’m starting to lose patience. You’re seriously winding me up.”
Her eyes flash at me. “She’s pregnant, okay? She’s having your baby. And yes, it’s yours, before you make some snide remark about her cheating on you because as we now know, she wasn’t.”
“B-baby?” I gasp out, clutching my stomach. “She’s having a baby? My baby?”
“Yes. I went to the ultrasound with her yesterday. There’s definitely a baby in there.”
“But why wouldn’t she just tell me? This is so much bigger than some petty fight. This is a life.”
“Because of how you’ve treated her, you idiot. I hope you realize that now.”
I’m silent. I let all of this wash over me in waves. I’m having a baby. Jodi is having my baby. Everything that came before this moment doesn’t matter anymore. The fact that Jodi wasn’t even lying to me, that she didn’t cheat on me, is amazing, but it pales into insignificance compared to this news.
I’m going to be a father. There’s a baby growing in the world that will belong to me.
“I’m going to leave this ultrasound picture right here for you,” Millie says quietly. “I hope you look at it and it leads you to the right decision, because all of this is silly. It doesn’t need to be like this.”
She closes the door behind her, clicking it after herself, leaving me in a resounding silence with only the picture for company. I pick it up and run my eyes all over it, tears pricking behind my gaze as I do. This is an emotional roller coaster like no other. Everything I thought I had to feel is no more. Now, I suppose I can love Jodi again if I want to. Which I do. The question is whether or not she will ever love me again.
“What am I going to do?” I mutter to myself. “How will I make this right again? I need to make it right.”
18
Jodi
Okay, I admit it—this is harder than I thought it would be. I assumed working in a baby shop and earning myself a discount would be a good thing, but it isn’t as fun-loving and carefre
e as I thought. Seeing all the couples coming in together, happy as they buy their baby stuff, hand in hand, arm in arm, all in love. I want that. God, I want that so bad, but it’s never going to happen for me. It’s too late for me and Brock.
Sometimes, when I’m shelf-stacking, I imagine what it would be like if Lucas hadn’t been around. If that night hadn’t happened, then maybe this would be a really happy moment. We would be one of those couples shopping in the store without a care in the world, secure in our love for one another. It’s a nice dream, but not one I ever want to get stuck in. I can do this by myself. It’s fine.
“Excuse me, miss?” A beautiful young lady taps on my shoulder. “Which crib do you recommend?” She sees me glance down at her very flat belly, and she smiles. “I know . . . I’m not showing yet, but I want to be prepared, and I just thought that since you’re further along than me, you might know.” She makes a sweeping gesture toward the display in front of us. “Which one do you have?”
“I actually don’t have one yet. I’m still trying to work out the best one for me.”
Actually, I just don’t have the money. Millie was right to be concerned about the pay here. By the time I paid off everything I owed, I wasn’t left with even enough to keep myself going. It’s a vicious circle. I haven’t bought anything baby-like yet, which isn’t really great. But I’m not in a bad enough state to call Brock yet. I’m willing to keep on fighting until I absolutely have to. I don’t want him involved. Not now.
“Oh wow, you’re brave, leaving it so late. Hasn’t your nesting instinct set in yet?”
“Uh, I think that’s something right at the end.”
“Well, I’ve got it right now.” She rubs her flat belly and smirks. “Nine months of it, I suppose.”
Inadequacy rolls through me. This is another thing that comes with the baby store job. Everyone in the world is already a better mother than I am. Even the ones who are doing this the first time around as well. They all seem to know more, to have more, to be more. It’s a crushing reminder that I’m winging it every single day.
“Nine months of nesting. Well, you will have one very lucky baby then. A lovely home to come into.”
I force the bright fake smile onto my face, and I go through all the specs of the cribs. She probably knows I’m not really someone to give advice, but she seems to hang onto my every word anyway.
* * *
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