“It doesn’t matter if she came on to you, Royce. You knew I was coming to that party, you could have told her to get lost. Do you have any idea how humiliated I felt walking in and seeing that groupie on your lap and with her lips all over your neck? You should never have let her sit on your lap in the first place,” Jessy told him in a voice filled with scorn. Anger was better than pain, she decided. She would just stay angry and ignore the deep ache of hurt lodged in her heart. “I have made no secret of how much I liked you. Why spend the night with me and give me hope? Why make me feel like you cared if you didn’t? Two days later you let me walk into that party with no warning that you had changed your mind about me. It would have hurt less if you had just taken me aside and told me our night meant nothing to you.”
Jessy hated the tears threatening to fall out of her eyes. Her dad raised her to be strong, not a crybaby. She blinked several times in an effort to prevent them from escaping. She had been holding it all in for weeks and trying to act blasé about the whole thing. She was sure she wasn’t fooling anyone with her cool act, but it made her feel better to think she was.
Royce ran his hand through his dark hair in exasperation. A muscle twitched in his jaw. “I didn’t plan that scene, Jessy. I drank too much and I made a mistake. Maybe part of me was feeling cornered because I knew you were thinking we were going to be serious. I should have talked about it with you instead of drinking all those shots. I’m sorry I hurt you though.”
“Fine, I accept your apology. Now we have nothing left to talk about. It’s over and we can go on trying to work together,” she stated tiredly. It had been a long, exhausting night and she wanted to put her old, comfy pajamas on and crawl into bed. His words were painful because she had been stupid enough to think that he wanted to be in a relationship with her. Now she felt like a stupid teen who knew nothing about men. He probably laughed at how naïve she was. She was around men all day long, but her experience with men was limited. Before Royce, she hadn’t been with anyone sexually in over two years. She used the excuse that work kept her busy, but most of the time she just never made an effort to meet anyone. She had made a big effort with Royce and now she felt like a fool.
“I want to explain. We spent a lot of time flirting but we never really talked.” He sounded like he really didn’t want to talk seriously now but he dredged on. “I was in a serious relationship before and I got hurt. I never wanted to be tied down, yet I let Trina talk me into it. I gave it a try and as soon as I was injured and could no longer fight, Trina dumped me for another fighter.”
Jessy felt her heart clench in pain. He was trying so hard to sound unaffected but that only told her he must have really been hurt. That meant he loved this woman who hurt him. She was filled with jealousy at that thought. She wanted Royce to love her and here he sat telling her it was hopeless. “Why have you never mentioned this before?”
He shrugged and sighed. “Those are not fond memories, so I push them away and try not to ever think of them. I never believed in relationships so to try and fail really reinforced what I already knew. I shouldn’t be surprised at how it ended. We fought most of the time and when I traveled I refused to let her go with me because I knew her jealousy would make me lose my concentration.”
“I’m sorry she hurt you, but not all women are the same,” she told him, knowing it was useless. His mind was set against being serious with one woman and she was too tired to fight him on it. Why chase a man who didn’t want ties? A man who wanted variety? She could never live like that.
“Relationships are not for me. I’m sorry, Jessy. I like you and I enjoy your company, but—”
“But you want a casual, no string relationship?” she finished for him.
His silence said it all.
She needed to put distance between them before she fell apart and cried in front of him. She loved him, jerk or not. Her feelings for Royce ran deep within her heart. She wasn’t sure a forklift could dig them out, but she also had pride that ran just as deep. He had humiliated her in front of all the other fighters. She had made no secret of her feelings for Royce, flirting with him openly and spending as much time with him as possible. Thank God her dad had been too tired that night to attend the party celebrating Sam’s winning match. Her dad knew how she felt for Royce and she had made him promise to stay out of it. She was sure he had his suspicions that she stayed the night with Royce when he was out of town. All he knew for sure was that he had come home to his head trainer and his daughter involved in a cold war. A war with no yelling, just cold glares and quiet uncomfortable silences. He had asked her several times what was going on between her and Royce, but she didn’t want her dad to be mad at Royce. He was a faithless jerk, but he was awesome at his job. They were lucky to have him. He could spot what the fighter’s strength and weakness were right away and help them. Her dad jokingly called him the fighter whisperer. Despite his back injury, Royce had talent and he knew how to bring out the individual strengths of all the fighters.
“That’s not me, Royce,” she whispered sadly, swallowing her tears.
“I know.” His voice sounded full of remorse and she knew he couldn’t help how he felt. Some men didn’t have it in them to be faithful. She was grateful she found out now and not months or years down the line. They sat in silence for a second as if each of them were lost in their own sad thoughts. Jessy stood up and started walking toward her car.
Royce walked with her to the small red sports car and opened the driver door for her. “Be careful, Jessy. I hope someday we can be friends again.”
She nodded and closed the door with a polite smile. She couldn’t give him a positive answer because she doubted she could ever be just his friend. It wasn’t until she reached the large house she shared with her father that she let the tears out. She lay awake in her bed that night, staring at the ceiling. Even though she was twenty-five she still lived with her dad. He was at the gym more than he was there, so it
was almost like living alone. Her mom had died from cancer when she was eight. Jessy closed her eyes, wishing her mom was around to give her advice from a feminine point of view. Her dad hated having emotional talks. He got all huffy and started stuttering when it came to female subjects. His philosophy was if someone pissed you off, kick their ass and move on. Somehow she didn’t think that advice would work in dealing with Royce.
Chapter 4
Jessy woke up the next day with a pounding headache. She took two aspirins with her coffee. She couldn’t afford to be stressed right now. She had too much to do. She handled all the publicity and bookings for the fighters. She was proud of the guys that did their training here. They all worked hard and it was finally paying off.
Sam “Steele” Wilson was working his way up the ladder in the MMA circuit in his weight class. Blake “Rage” Matthews was catching up quick and Jessy knew they could do it. Adam Sullivan was one of their newest fighters and she didn’t know him as well as Blake and Sam, but so far he showed he was willing to work hard. He had picked the stage name of Mad Dog. He was still young at twenty-three, but he was making a good start on his career. Her dad had also recently recruited another young fighter. His name was Jackson Delaney. She hadn’t spent much time with him yet but she would have to get to know him soon.
The cool thing about her job was she didn’t have to dress up. She put on her favorite pair of faded jeans that made her feel good about herself. She threw on a gray T-shirt that said Team Daniels on the front in bold black letters. After she put her long brown hair up in a ponytail, she headed out the door. Her dad had gone in early but she had been hoping if she slept in she would get rid of this lingering headache.
It may be cowardly, but she breathed in a sigh of relief when she didn’t run into Royce on the way to her office. Maybe one day this achy feeling in her heart would fade away, but right now it was too fresh.
Despite her headache, she got right to work outlining Adam’s promotional tour. He had a big fight in six weeks with a popular fighter who was already being billed as the toughest MMA fighter to come along in years. Her dad wanted Adam’s name to get out into the public so he could pick up not only fans who would pay to see the fight, but sponsors, too. She booked him a guest spot on the local radio station and a few public appearances. She enjoyed her job and was soon concentrating hard on her work.
A knock on her office door broke her concentration. She looked up to see Royce standing casually in her doorway. He wore his usual gym shorts and sleeveless T-shirt. He looked so sexy standing there and all she could feel was regret. Regret he felt nothing but a passing fancy for her and regret that she now knew how it felt to have him sink deep into her body. It was no longer imagination that filled her mind, but real memories that would not be easy to put away.
“Yes?” She hoped she sounded professional and she ignored the familiar feeling of her heartbeat increasing. So what if his white shirt draped over his muscular chest the way she wanted to? And so what if his shaggy brown hair made her ache to run her fingers through it? He made it clear he didn’t want a relationship and she had no desire to be another casual fling for him.
“Your dad wants to know if you’re done with Adam’s schedule?”
“Oh yes. You both need to look it over and approve it. Then I’ll finalize everything.” He walked in, making her office feel smaller. Luckily they had the width of the desk between them, because she was tempted to lean on his muscular chest and wrap herself around him. That would surely freak him out and make him quit. He grabbed the folder out of her hand but he didn’t look through it. Instead he kept his coffee-colored eyes on her, making her squirm uncomfortably in her chair. Once she would have leaned back and given him a smile that said, come closer and kiss me. Now the air was thick with tension, but not the sexual kind. She felt so awkward around him now and she wasn’t sure how to act. She could no longer flirt and tease him.
“Do you want to have lunch?” His question surprised her. It couldn’t be afternoon already?
Jessy looked at the clock on the wall and was shocked it was so late in the afternoon. “Actually, I’m still feeling a little off. I don’t think lunch is a good idea for me.” She surprised herself by saying no. Before she would have jumped at the chance to spend time alone with Royce.
She knew she could no longer pretend a friendship between them was possible. If Royce truly wasn’t interested in her then she had to move on and get over it. Maintaining a friendship would not help her cause. “I think I’m coming down with a cold, you don’t want to be around me, Royce. We’re too busy to deal with us both being sick.”