He walked around her desk and closer to her. He put his hand on her forehead. “You are kind of warm and your skin is flushed. Maybe you should take the rest of the day off.”
“I’ll be fine. I took some aspirin already.” She pretended to be interested in a paper on her desk so he wouldn’t see how affected she was by his simple touch. She was flushed from him being so close to her. She could smell his soap and it wouldn’t take much to reach out and caress him. She was determined to keep things professional, no matter how hard it was.
“I planned on going down the street to the sandwich shop. I’ll bring you some chicken soup. Doesn’t that cure everything?” He gave her his usual charming smile and she couldn’t help but feel anger that he was taking this so well. Obviously his feelings had been shallow if it was so easy to move on. Maybe it had been there for her to see all along, only she had been too blind to notice. She gave him a polite smile. “So I’ve heard. Okay, thanks, Royce. Soup sounds good.”
He smiled and held up the folder in his hand. “I’ll look at this after I bring you the soup.”
After he left she went out into the large main room where all the workout equipment was kept. It was filled with treadmills, punching bags, and other workout machines. Everything a fighter needed to keep in tip-top shape, including a boxing ring and floor mats. The sounds of fists hitting the bags hanging from the ceiling and the loud grunts of the men lifting weights were familiar and comforting to her. When her mom had been sick and Jessy couldn’t take the fear, she would sneak in here and sit in a dark corner, watching the men train. Watching their powerful fists hitting the bags made her envious. They had an outlet for their emotions, while she had to keep hers reigned in tightly. She couldn’t make her mom feel bad by crying and screaming at the injustice of her mom having cancer. She couldn’t burden her dad with her fears since he had so much on his shoulders already with work and taking care of her mom.
Tom, the gym manager, had found her crying in the corner one day and asked her if she wanted to put a glove on and hit the bag. She had silently nodded and looked at him with solemn eyes. Her dad didn’t like her spending time here but she liked it.
“Don’t hit it softly, Jess. Let out your anger. Come on, girl, do it,” he said loudly, and she hit the bag with all her strength. It hadn’t moved an inch but it felt good. She had cracked a smile, a small one, but he encouraged her until she was sobbing and hitting the bag wildly.
Her father had been mad at first until he realized how much of her emotions she had been hiding. After that day he let her come regularly and work out with his fighters. It had helped her deal with the hopelessness she had felt when her mother died six months later.
It had been a while since she had donned her workout clothes and blown off some steam. Maybe she’d feel better if she did.
She went to the vending machine filled with different types of water and sports drinks. Putting in some change, she pressed the button for a water.
“I need one of those desperately,” Blake said from behind her. He looked tired. “Why did I let Sam talk me into going out? I feel like shit now.”
“It was your idea, Blake. Glad I didn’t let you drag me down too, you big baby.” Jessy turned to look at him wearing his blue training trunks and no shirt. His dark hair was almost shaved off and he sported tattoos all over his hard chest. Too bad she had k
nown him for years and had sisterly feelings toward him and Sam. Blake was closer to her age and one good-looking male. But like most men his age he was busy sowing his wild oats.
“At least I’m not puking my guts out in the locker room like a wuss.” He grinned, putting coins in the vending machine. “Tom’s giving Sam hell for overdoing it.”
“I bet.” Jessy felt some sympathy for Sam. Tom took care of all the equipment in the gym now and let Royce train the men. Now that he was older, he didn’t like working long hours, although he still often helped the men spar and he was always around for advice. He had been with them for years and Jessy really liked him despite his grumpy personality. He was a big husky man in his late fifties and tried to never appear soft in front of anyone except her.
Blake grabbed his sports drink and twisted the cap open. After he took a big, long swallow he sighed with satisfaction. “Want to work out with me?”
“Yeah. I was just telling myself I need to get back to a workout schedule. I’ve got some free time. Let me go and change.” She headed back to her office and locked the door. There was only a men’s locker room so she used her office to change clothes. She threw on some tight black shorts that clung to her and a white tank top. She grabbed an elastic band from her desk and put her hair up and out of the way before heading back out to the gym. Maybe she could use the equipment to pour out her pain and sadness. She was tired of moping around. So Royce didn’t want her, maybe someday she would find someone who did.
Blake was using one of the machines to do arm exercises by pulling down some weights. Jessy sat next to him and adjusted the machine to her weight level. No way could she lift as much as Blake. He gave her his usual challenging grin and she rolled her eyes. Blake liked to turn everything into a competition, but he was a sore loser.
“Ten?” he asked, wanting to know how many sets she could do.
“What are you, a girl?” She snorted. “Let’s go for twenty, unless you are too hungover and weak?”
Blake chuckled and started pulling the weights downward, counting as he went along. She could hear other men in the gym working out. Not everyone here was a fighter. They also had regular members who paid for a membership just to keep in good shape. Tom gave martial arts classes for exercise or protection. When Jessy had time she often joined his class.
Sam came out a few minutes later and joined them on the machines. He was quieter than usual and Jessy guessed he still didn’t feel so great after a long night of partying.
“I really needed this,” she told Blake with a satisfied sigh as she pulled the weights down with her arm. She felt the burn on her muscles as she worked them out, but it helped to forget the pain inside her heart. “I feel energized. We should do this more often.”
* * * *
Royce sat on a bench, looking over the schedule Jessy had set up for Adam for next month. He had come in from lunch to find her working out. He wanted to tell her she shouldn’t be doing that while she was sick, but Jared had stopped him.
“Leave her be, Royce,” Jared had told him, watching his daughter punch a bag with expertise. “She knows when to stop. First time I found her in here she was eight years old and Helen, my wife, was dying. I didn’t realize how much of a brave face Jessy was putting on for us. She didn’t want to burden us with her sadness. She holds so much of her feelings inside of her.”
Royce could hear the deep sadness in Jared’s voice when mentioning his late wife. “I yelled at her for being here around the men. I never allowed her to hang out here, but Tom convinced me she needed an outlet for her anger at the situation. She was holding everything inside and that is never good for anyone. If feelings fester inside of us and never come out, they turn into poison. After Helen died she spent a lot of hours hitting those bags, but when she was done I could see the calmness on her face. She’s a strong girl, Royce, but even the strong can break. If you truly don’t want to settle down with my Jessy, just stay away from her. She doesn’t deserve to have her emotions played with. No one does.”
“I didn’t hurt her intentionally, Jared,” Royce stated defensively. He already felt consumed with guilt, he didn’t need a constant reminder that he was an asshole.
“You spent the better part of the last year soaking up her attention and flirting right back with her. I know something happened between you and I heard how devastated she was to walk into that party to see you with someone else. That doesn’t sound like you are so innocent, Royce. You should never have laid a finger on her if you wanted an easy lay. Manager or not, I can still kick ass, so don’t tempt me. From now on she is just an employee to you.”
Chapter 5