I turned to see my father and Kade staring at me. Of all the people in my family to break down in front of, these two were the worst. Neither was known for warmth or caring. And yet, they both stared at me like they felt bad for me. That was worse. I didn’t want their pity.
“I’m leaving.”
“Why don’t you stay?” my father said.
I pointed my finger at him. “I’m done. You can keep my inheritance. I forfeit it because I’m not going to meet your stupid terms.”
“You already have. You have a child.”
“I’m out.” I owned Jet and had my own investments. I wouldn’t be as rich as I was as a part of Raven Industries, but I was still plenty rich. Hannah would go to the best schools. Travel. Go to any college she wanted.
“Ash, why don’t you stay a little longer,” Kade said. “I know we’re not the best people to help you through this, but we can listen.”
I shook my head. “I’m going home. Thanks, anyway.”
Once out of my father’s building, I went to my car, which hadn’t been towed or ticketed. At home, I took a shower, feeling the need to wash the day off me. To wash Beth off me. The task was a waste when I realized her scent was all over my sheets.
“Fuck!” I strode to a guest room to sleep, assuming I’d ever get to sleep. I took deep breaths like I often saw Hunter take when he was getting agitated. Then I turned my focus away from Beth’s betrayal, to my daughter.
I was a father. Fucking hell. My mind filled with all the things I wanted to do with her, and at the same time, sadness that I’d missed so much already. And that she didn’t know me. What if she didn’t want me to take her to the park or zoo? I wanted to be in her life, but I didn’t want to force myself on her if she didn’t want me. Would she be mad that I hadn’t been in her life?
All I could do was reach out to her and hope that Beth didn’t try to sabotage me and that Hannah would let me make up for all the time I missed.
26
Beth – Sunday
I was both stunned and completely distraught. What had I done?
You’ve completely destroyed me.
I had never felt like such a terrible person as when he uttered those words. I saw it on his face as well. He was in excruciating emotional pain because of me. I did that to him.
“Oh, God.” My knees went weak and I dropped the floor, my own pain and shame overwhelming me. I wept for what I foolishly lost. Why had I thought so poorly of him when he’d been nothing but gracious since our reunion? Yes, I’d been holding a grudge about how he left, but he explained that. As it turned out, he’d tried to contact me as I had him. Did that mean our families continued to keep us apart?
“Mommy?”
My head jerked up to see Hannah standing in the kitchen, her eyes wide with fear as she looked at me weeping on the floor.
I quickly wiped my tears and stood up. “You should be in bed, baby.”
“Why are you crying. Did that man hurt you?”
“No, honey. I hurt him and I’m feeling terrible about it.” I picked her up and carried her into the living room. I considered putting her to bed, but I figured now was the time to tell her the truth too. It would also give me something else to focus on besides my own stupidity.
“He seemed nice. Why did you hurt him?”
I sat on the couch with her on my lap. “Because I was being foolish.”
“You should say you’re sorry.”
God, if only it were that easy. “If I get the chance, I will. But there’s something else I’d like to talk to you about.”
She sat across my thighs and looked up at me. “What?”
I heard the rattle of the doorknob and cursed inwardly at Ben’s timing. He finally got the door opened and stood looking at us in the living room.
He was fairly lit, but not stumbling drunk. “What’s going on? Someone die?”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m having a talk with Hannah. About Ash.”
“He helped me at the hospital. He’s nice,” Hannah said.
Ben’s eyes narrowed. “Hospital?”
“She had an allergic reaction. She’s fine now. I’ll tell you about it later.”
“Why was Ash there?” He entered the room and stood in front of me with his arms crossed.
“Because I was spending the evening with him,” I said with my chin raised defiantly.
“So, you’re going to tell her. All that wanting to be free of him was bullshit?”
“Ummm. That’s a bad word.” Hannah said.
He closed his eyes. “Sorry Han.”
“It was wrong not to tell him. You said it yourself.”