He was so deep inside of me—deeper than he had been that night, I was sure of it—thrusting so hard and fast I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see anything, stars exploding in my vision. I kept screaming helplessly, wordless cries of pleasure that sometimes bordered on sobbing. It was so good, I felt like I was a star about to go supernova. I clawed at the floor and realized distantly that I was begging—begging for more, more, please, oh God, please, please.
When I came I couldn’t even make a sound, my cry strangled at the back of my throat. I was shaking like an earthquake, and I felt wonderfully used as Cal lost all sense of holding back, fucking into me sharp, fast, out of his mind, grunting with the force of it. He was completely lost, lost in me, and it was as intoxicating now as it had been five years ago.
He came with a possessive growl, as if he was marking me up inside, and I nearly collapsed. The both of us stayed there, panting, sweat sliding down our bodies, and I became aware of how much I ached all over.
God, that had been good. So good. As good as the first time.
…and we all knew what had happened the first time.
Fuck! What was wrong with me!? How could I have let this happen!? I’d planned on just saying my peace and leaving and now look at me, I’d slept with Cal Monroe all over again, like some kind of braindead idiot!
I pulled away, scrambling to my feet. Shit, I needed to—clean up—I ran to the bathroom and grabbed tissues, hastily cleaning myself up, splashing my face with water, trying to make it look less like I’d just gotten fucked within an inch of my life. My legs nearly gave out on me a few times, that was how intense the sex had been. I wanted nothing more than to sit down and let the aftershocks of my orgasm work through me, but I had to get out of there. I had to leave before I did something else monumentally idiotic.
Cal was just getting to his feet as I came back into the room, yanking my clothes on. I probably reeked of sex. Shit. Good thing my parents were probably asleep. I could just sneak past them and they’d be none the wiser.
“Hey, hey—” Cal grabbed my arm as I made for the front door, stopping me once again. “We aren’t done talking.”
“You sure?” I snapped. “Because you seemed pretty done with talking when you grabbed me and kissed me.”
I had given into the kissing, sure, but he’d been the one to start it. Curse my weakness for him.
“Things can’t go back to the way they were,” Cal started, but I interrupted him. I couldn’t let him talk too much, obviously, otherwise he would convince me all over again, just like he had with sex.
“That’s exactly what things are going to do,” I replied. “Nothing has changed. You’re still my father’s best friend. You still knew me—we’re still—revealing who Fern’s father really is would destroy your relationship with my family. I can’t do that to my father. And I don’t think it would be fair to do that to you, either. I know that you care about my father just like he cares about you, I don’t want to get in the way of that friendship. And how would destroying that relationship prove that you were a good father? Hmm?”
That last bit was perhaps a bit cruel. I knew that I was being harsh. Part of me wanted to stop it, but I felt like a train going off the rails, without the brake. It felt almost like self-preservation. I had already given into him once this evening. And if I were to give him any leeway… it felt like a slippery slope and I’d be stupidly, hopelessly in love with him again, and imploding my family in the meantime.
Cal opened his mouth, I was pretty sure to say something, but I couldn’t let him speak. I couldn’t. I was on such thin ice already. “I’m sorry. My mind is made up. I’m raising Fern on my own, and this… this between us…” I gestured. “This can never happen again.”
With that, before he could speak, I hurried out the door.
I couldn’t sleep all that night. I tossed and turned fruitlessly for hours until I just gave up and started packing. The sun rose as I furiously folded and stuffed things into my bags. I felt like shit for just bailing on my parents so early, one day after Thanksgiving, especially with Fern. They would hate to have her yanked away from them again so soon, and Fern would miss them. But it was far too dangerous to stick around. I’d only been around Cal a couple of hours and I’d already ended up in bed with him.