Surprised, I shook my head. “No.”
“How would you?” She shot me an amused smile. “I was only eighteen when I really noticed you. Too young for you to notice me.”
I didn’t know what to say because it was the truth. She’d just been Lachlan’s wee sister back then.
“God, I loved having a crush on you.” She chuckled, as if remembering. “It excited me anytime you came to the castle for a visit, and I enjoyed fantasizing about what our life together would be like if you ever noticed me.” The laughter in her voice faded, however, as she continued, “Though deep down, I didn’t think you’d ever notice me.”
Emotion made my pulse race hard as I studied her profile. I didn’t know what to say. Part of me still didn’t feel like I deserved that kind of steadfast affection.
“It changed when you and Lachlan came home after Dad died. My feelings, I mean. But you know about that.” She glanced at me. “You offered me friendship, but I wanted more. And while a crush was fun … loving you for so long, unable to speak about it, was this agonizing weight on my chest. So much pain that no one knew about.” A tear slipped down her cheek, and I reached to swipe it away, afraid to speak in case my emotion overcame me.
To the depths of my soul, I regretted every second of pain I’d caused her.
“When we had our falling-out, something happened. Something shifted, and it was like the anger closed a door on the pain. But that’s where all that love is, Mackennon. It’s behind that door with the pain. And I’m afraid. I’m afraid to open the door.”
Pulling her against me, she rested her head on my shoulder. I kissed the top of it in reassurance as she tightened her hold on my hand.
Strangely, while her words hurt, they filled me with hope.
Arrochar Adair loved me.
I was certain of it.
And one day, hopefully soon, she’d feel safe enough to open the door again.
31
Arro
Nothing existed for me but him and sensation.
The thick hotness of him inside me. His tight hold on my hips. The musky smell of sex in the air. The cool metal of my bed frame growing hotter in my hand, the softness of the mattress beneath my knees. My gasps and pants. His growls and grunts between pleasure-hazed commands for me to take him as hard as I could. The coiling lust tightening deep inside with every powerful drive into my body as Mackennon took me from behind.
My chin dropped to my chest as my grasp on the bed became such it rattled with every thrust.
“Mackennon!” I cried, feeling that coil tense to near explosion.
His grip on my hips was almost bruising as he demanded I come in that deep, rumbling voice of his that turned me on no matter where we were. Needing to see his face, I glanced over my shoulder at him. Mac’s eyes glinted with fierceness I coveted. He always looked like a conquering Viking when he was close to release, and that turned me on too. Everything about this man made me mindless with desire.
“Mackennon,” I whimpered, holding his eyes as I pushed back against his thrusts.
Suddenly, I found myself pulled upward, forced to let go of the bed. My back now rested against Mac’s chest, his arms wrapped around my torso, one hand slipping between my thighs to circle my clit. His pumps into me slowed, sexy and languid as I rested my head on his shoulder and undulated against his arching hips. His lips caressed my ear as he told me how beautiful I was, how perfect I felt around his cock, that I was everything, how his body was made for just this moment.
It was too much.
The tension inside me shattered into a million pieces, and the strength of my release was such Mackennon grunted with surprise as my inner muscles clenched around him, wrenching his own from him.
Once reality returned to me again, I tilted my head back to look up at him. He bent his to kiss me. When we released one another, I smiled at him, dazed.
Truly amazed at what existed between us.
We’d shared six of the best weeks of my life.
Mac cupped my cheek in his hand, his expression adoring. “I love you so much, Arro.”
He hadn’t told me he loved me since the beginning, and a part of me had dreaded it as much as I yearned for it. That confusion hadn’t worked itself out yet, and so a response caught in my throat once more.
Disappointment dimmed the light in Mac’s eyes, and I felt like the biggest arsehole in the world as he gave me a quick kiss before pulling out of me. I thought he’d walk away, go lick his wounds elsewhere, but I should’ve known better. Mac got out of bed and reached under me, lifting me into his arms. I wrapped mine around his neck as he carried me like a bride on her wedding night into the bathroom.