“That’s wonderful. You truly are an amazing man.”
These last few days have been the best. What am I going to do when my house is quiet again? When it is just me for breakfast and dinner? It’s been amazing having someone to share my love of cooking with, spend my days off with, and just laugh.
The conversation continues over dinner with her asking when I came up with the idea to buy property, and when I tell her right after her fire, she drops her fork.
“You aren’t doing this just for us, are you? I mean it’ll be months before the complex is ready, but we can find somewhere else to go.”
“It’s for anyone who needs help after a tragedy, not just fires. I told you. You can stay as long as you need.”
She picks her fork back up and goes back to eating.
I want to caress her, and maybe even kiss her, but can I? Does she even want me to? Sure, I’d love to touch her skin that appears like silk, or feel her lips against mine, but the last thing I want to do is make a fool of myself. Am I truly ready to move on? Without being certain, I shouldn’t lead her on. Tessa is a girl I’d only get one shot with, and I don’t want to mess that up.
After dinner, we go through our nightly routine: dinner, dishes, and then a little TV. Emily ends up falling asleep on the couch.
“Listen, about what you said earlier. I’m glad we could help you out, just like you did us... but I can’t help but feel like there’s more to it. Us staying in your home, taking us on trips...”
I know where this is going. My chest tightens, and my palms begin to sweat, trying to choose the words carefully before I speak. “Confusing for both of us. I love my wife. A part of me always will. And despite that, I think about you. I know it’s wrong, but I can’t help it.”
Her eyes drop to the floor. “It’s not wrong. Moving on is natural; it just takes some time. And you shouldn’t do it before you’re ready.”
There is so much I want to say, but it’s better to wait until Emily is in bed so we can talk freely. “Let’s finish this after she’s in bed.”
She looks at me and nods. “Of course.”
Tessa is a beautiful woman, and as much as I’d love to feel her body against mine, the thought keeps crossing my mind that it might be too soon. How the hell am I supposed to know if I’m truly ready?
Her hand is placed on top of mine, and her eyes bore into mine. “Emily’s getting very close to you. It worries me because you could leave at any moment, and she doesn’t deserve to go through that again.”
I inch closer, shaking my head. “I would never leave her. That’s not the man I am.” My voice cracks. “Even if we never become a couple, I’d always be there for you both.”
Hearing Tessa voice her fears makes me think about everything in a split second. Maybe I haven’t shown her the kind of man I am, but I intend to now. Emily will always have me to lean on, no matter what happens between Tessa and me. That little girl has been through enough, having her daddy skip out on her, and that’s one thing she will never have to worry about with me.
“That could confuse her, though. That’s what I’m trying to avoid.” Tessa looks around, almost like she’s trying to hold tears back. “Emily. It’s time to get ready for bed, honey. Let’s go.”
She gets up from the table, and I reach out for her hand, caressing it. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say.”
With tears in her eyes, leaving pale streaks on her cheeks, she walks away toward the bedroom and shuts the door.
Fuck, did I just majorly screw up? Just make a fucking choice already and go with it. At this point, I have no way to know if things will work out between Tess and me in the long run, but I’d be a coward if I didn’t just admit my feelings.
About twenty minutes later, after leaving me stirring in my thoughts, she comes back to the table, tears gone.
“Sometimes she just doesn’t want to go to sleep.” She pours herself a glass of wine.
I place my hand on top of hers. “Listen, it’s not always gonna be a struggle. Eventually things will get better for you two.”
Could I see myself being that person she can trust? Yes, but is now the right time to bring that up? Putting myself out there, being vulnerable, is something I don’t usually do, but maybe this time it’s the right thing. “I would like a shot at being that person for you.”
My chest rises and falls, waiting for a response from her, but she stays silent. Her eyes peer into mine, and then she responds.
“I thought that person was gonna be her dad but he bailed. And I thought maybe I was just meant to be alone. Almost every relationship I’ve been in ended because of him cheating or worse. I’m not sure if I’m ready to be in a relationship again, to put my heart on the line.”
“Why would any man ever cheat on you?” I raise my voice, but I don’t mean to. It makes my knuckles white hearing that come out of her mouth. She’s beautiful, smart, and a wonderful mother from what I have seen. It just doesn’t make any sense. No woman ever has to worry about me cheating because I have enough decency to end it if I’m not happy. If I feel the need to go somewhere else for sex, then whoever I’m with isn’t the right person for me. End of story.
She stares at me with her luscious green eyes, almost piercing through me. A woman like her should be bursting with self-confidence, and Tessa just isn’t. Whoever these guys that hurt her before are, they’re fucking idiots. They have broken down a good woman.
The urge to be close to her sets in, so I lean in and kiss her. Not hard, but soft. As our lips part, a sigh escapes her throat, leaving me wanting more. I’ve been waiting patiently for this to happen. She has a surprised look on her face.