"All you have to do is write a letter stating you didn't consent to the closed adoption and would like the parents to reconsider. They may reject it, but we won't know unless we try. Aiden, please. You have to do this."
I scoot closer, only a couple inches away from my leg touching hers. "I'll do it."
The laptop is retrieved from the counter and I bring it over to the coffee table. What do I even say? Sorry my old girlfriend gave our baby up, but I want to know him now. I sound like a douchebag. My eyes run over the blank screen opened on Word and my fingers hesitate. "I don't think I can lie and say I didn't know about it."
"Then what are you going to say?" she asks, scooting closer to me.
"The truth."
My fingers start typing away, letting my heart and soul spill out onto the page, hoping this would be enough for them to think about letting me see Jake. If they don't, at least I can say I tried to be there for him.
Hazel is right about one thing. We didn't have jobs, and this couple had the means to provide a good life for our child. Instead of thinking badly about them, we should be thanking them for giving him a life that at eighteen we couldn't provide.
After ten minutes of combing through the letter, trying to come up with better word usage, I read it aloud to her.
Dear Jake's Parents,
You may or may not receive this letter, but my hopes are that you do. I have some things I need to get off my chest.
My name is Aiden Jackson and I live in Grapevine, Texas. I am the biological father of your son. First off, I would like to thank you for supplying him with a stable home and providing him with everything he has needed over the last eight years. The regret of giving him up is weighing heavy on my heart, and I want to make sure he knows that we did want him. I wanted him. However, at eighteen, neither his mother or I could have given him the life we wanted for him. Hazel made the hard decision for both of us to let you adopt him.
My letter to you is to ask for something. I understand she agreed to a closed adoption, but I would never forgive myself if I didn't ask to at least receive a picture or updates on how he is doing. Just to know my son is being taken care of, and in a good place.
I understand this is completely up to you, and you have every right to say no, but please consider it for both Hazel and I's sakes. We are worried that Jake will grow up and think that we didn't want him, and that's not the case.
Before the adoption was finalized, Hazel did tell me that you had been trying with no luck to have children and that Jake would be a blessing in your life, and I hope he is your ray of sunshine on a bad day.
Even if you don't want to communicate with us on his behalf, please tell him when the time is right that we loved him and still do every day. We would be happy to meet him and get to know him if he ever wants that.
Here is my cell phone number in case you want to talk. 818-856-8954
Sincerely,
Aiden Jackson
Our eyes meet as I finish the letter, and tears are present. I only get one shot at making a case for us, and it might be long, but it gets our message across. We deserve to at least have a picture of him, even if we never get to meet him.
"I think it's perfect. Never knew you were so great with words."
"There are still some things you don't know about me," I laugh.
I send it to the printer, and fold it up nice. "Here you go."
"I'll put a stamp on it and mail it tomorrow. Thank you for doing this," Hazel says, getting up from the couch and grabbing her jacket.
"Listen, it's late. Why don't you crash on my bed?"
"I don't think that's appropriate." Her eyes glance at me, but not for long.
"I'll sleep on the couch."
She nods, and follows me into my bedroom, which is not neat, and sits on the bed. "Could I borrow a shirt to sleep in?"
The thought of her in one of my shirts arouses me. What is it about seeing women in our t-shirts that is sexy? There's something about it, especially when they aren't wearing anything underneath.
I walk over to the closet and grab a Longhorns t-shirt, and toss it to her. "I don't have anything long, sorry. Get changed. I'll see you in a couple hours."
My eyes avert from her, and I close the bedroom door behind me. Did I want to sleep on the couch? Hell no, but it seems presumptuous to sleep in bed with her. Sure, we have done it plenty of times, but that was when we were younger.