I fear opening my mouth, fear speaking. Afraid my words will be unintelligible. Garbled. So, I swallow and shake my head.
Gavin presses his palm against my breastbone and locks his steely eyes on mine. “Because I’m here.” Then he reaches out, takes my hand, and places it over his heart. Beneath my palm, his heart beats a vicious rhythm. “And you are here. Before we met, we held a piece of each other hostage. It wasn’t until we found each other that those pieces reconnected. As if they’d known each other in another lifetime.”
I will not fucking cry.
“Cora, you’re it for me. No matter how hard I tried to forget about you, no matter what I did over the last thirteen years, you always danced in my dreams and called out to my heart. I may have ignored it for stupid reasons, but it was there nonetheless.”
Goddamnit.
He is going to make me cry. He rests his cheek against mine as his lips hover near my ear. My chest rises and falls as I gasp for breath. I pinch my eyes shut. Swallow hard. Curl and uncurl my fingers.
“I love you, Cora. More than anything or anyone in this world. And fuck if I don’t want to kiss you in the middle of this arcade, in front of all these people.”
My breath comes faster, but I don’t say a word. Will he kiss me? I want to kiss him, but still hesitate. Kissing Gavin again will end any chance I have at resistance. We need time. Time to relearn each other. Time to adjust to a newer version of us. A little more time.
Or am I being absurd?
We have spent so much time apart. Days and months and years disconnected. Broken. Hurt. Do I really want to waste more time? Do I really want to keep him at arm’s length? No, I don’t. And keeping us divided when he has done everything in his power to bring us back together is asinine.
I lean back from Gavin just enough to see his eyes. If I shift an inch to the side, we would kiss. His eyes lock on mine and read every thought passing through them. And I know he knows what I think. He doesn’t flinch or veer from his position. A second later, his eyes close and he draws in a labored breath.
This is it. The moment we have been leading up to. The inevitable.
I line my lips up with his, leaving only a shadow between us. Just as I lean in, just as I’m about to give myself over to him, someone brushes my arm and I retreat.
“Hey, man. Sorry to interrupt. Can I talk with you a minute?”
I open my eyes and spot Jonas beside us. His gaze fixed on Gavin, who is staring at me. Gavin’s eyes burn with familiar longing. Something I saw every time he looked at me years ago. Something primal and potent and only ours. It resonates in my marrow. Keeps the chambers of my heart beating. Jonas may be inches from us, but we only see each other. Only feel each other.
Gavin’s eyes still connected with mine, he answers Jonas. “Sure, man. What’s up?”
Jonas shifts foot to foot. “Maybe over there.” Jonas points to a table ten feet from us.
“Yeah, no problem.” Gavin kisses my forehead. “I’ll be back in a minute, baby. Finish my game and yours.”
I nod and watch as Gavin and Jonas walk over to the empty table and sit down. They sit so neither of them faces me, but I see both their profiles. Jonas starts talking and Gavin listens intently. Seeing as I can’t read lips, staring at them will get me nowhere.
So, I go back to the game, tossing ball after ball up my lane and Gavin’s. When his game ends, I finish the round on my lane. Occasionally, I peek over my shoulder at them. They don’t shift in position. Neither of them appears to be angry or ready to throw down—which is a good sign. Two more rounds pass before Gavin walks back over to me. His expression neutral.
“Hey. What did Jonas want to talk to you about?” I ask.
He wraps his arms around me and squeezes me close. “I’ll tell you in a little bit. Are you hungry?” He kisses my forehead then leans back to peer down at me.
I don’t argue with him. If Gavin says he will tell me later, he will. “Yeah. Let’s find everyone else and grab dinner.”
Micah seems a bit perturbed when we disrupt his virtual reality simulation, but agrees to meet us at a table. A moment later, we locate Shelly and Erin playing Dance Dance Revolution—Jonas teasing their dance skills.
We all converge at a table and order drinks and food. Light chatter fills the space between us. The dynamic between Gavin and Jonas has shifted into something unfamiliar. They sit opposite one another, but don’t look or speak to each other. I find it very peculiar. I want to ask Gavin what they talked about, but remind myself he will share with me later. So, I ask Shelly and Erin who is winning their DDR showdown.
I never got into DDR. Classic games have always been my thing. Pinball, Skee-Ball, Pac-Man. But I love Shelly and Erin’s enthusiasm for DDR. So, like the amazing best friend that I am, I listen as they regale us with colorful accounts of their competitions. And to be honest, they are pretty hardcore. Intimidating. Kind of makes me glad I never got into it.
Micah and Gavin talk quietly beside me. Micah mentions Peyton and I stop listening. It isn’t my place to interrupt two guys chatting about a girl. Especially one I don’t know. Who knows how much Micah has told Gavin. But if Micah is bringing her up again, one thing is certain. Micah has a major interest in her. Hopefully Gavin can reassure him that it is okay to move on from his ex. She was a real piece of work and it sucks he still harbors feelings for her.
I peer at Jonas and note his eyes glued to me. How long has he been staring? I wiggle in my seat and Gavin places a hand on my thigh. Ease passes through him to me and I relax into his side.
Jonas mouths you okay? His eyes pinch at the corners and his lips form a tight line. I smile and nod at him. Yeah. Perfect. I mouth back as I rest a hand over Gavin’s. Everything is exactly as it should be in this moment. How it should have been for years.
When we finish eating, Jonas, Shelly, and Erin leave. When hugs are exchanged, Jonas whispers in my ear. “Good to see you happy. It suits you.”