Santino grabbed my neck, stunning me. “I know. I know what I want. I know what I feel. And you?”
I swallowed. “I have to marry Clifford. It’s for the Outfit, you know that. Don’t make me doubt my choice.”
He nodded and released me. “Maybe this is about the Outfit, or maybe it’s about something else. If you’re not doubting your choice yet, it’s probably better if you don’t bother now.”
“What do you mean?”
The door to the party swung open and we scooted apart, but not before the person saw us. Luckily it was only Sofia. Her eyes widened with surprise. “I’m sorry for disturbing you.”
I pushed to my feet. “You’re not. Our conversation is over.” I strolled over to Sofia. I could see in her expression that she worried about me. I gave her a quick smile. “Are you heading to the restroom?”
“Uhhh,” she said, glancing at Santino, obviously still unsure what she saw. Santino and I hadn’t been overly intimate but I guess whatever had passed between us had given us away to Sofia. “Yeah. What about you?”
“I need to go to the restroom too.” We linked arms and headed for the guest bathroom where we both squeezed into the room. Sofia waited for me to close the door before she said, “Okay, how long has this been going on?”
I smiled apologetically, though I felt a bit like crying after my argument with Santino. “Since Paris.”
Sofia blew out her breath. “From the beginning.”
“Yeah.”
“Oh Anna. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It would have been too dangerous over the phone.”
“What about the times we met at parties?”
I shrugged, feeling awful. “I just… I didn’t want to tell you about something that didn’t really mean anything.”
Sofia gave me a look that made it clear she thought I was completely insane.
Steps sounded right in front of the door and we fell silent. This was a good reminder that this was the Clark’s house. We weren’t safe here, especially not with a topic as sensitive as this.
“Can we meet for brunch tomorrow?” I asked.
“Of course. Danilo will be busy with meeting anyway. But no more lies, all right?”
I hugged her. “I promise.”
Sofia came over the next morning. Danilo had a meeting with Dad in his office so we could drive to the restaurant together. I was glad that she would be in town for a few more days. I needed her support. I’d considered asking Luisa to join us but it would have been too overwhelming to brave both their questions at the same time. I’d meet with her another time to talk about Santino. She was busy with her wedding preparations anyway, so I didn’t want to burden her with my Santino problems.
Sofia and I went to brunch in my favorite place where they served the best Belgian waffles. Of course, Santino drove us there so the ride to the restaurant passed in silence, except for the occasional professional interaction between Santino and Sofia’s bodyguard who sat shotgun.
Santino was clever enough to give us some room and settled far from our table next to the entrance of the bistro.
I nipped at my black coffee and picked at my fruit salad. Next week I’d go wedding dress shopping, so I didn’t want to risk gaining weight. Not to mention that I rarely felt very hungry anymore. The stress with Santino and the upcoming wedding were taking their toll.
Sofia watched me over her waffles then slanted a quick look at Santino who sat at a table with her bodyguard across the room to give us privacy.
“Do you really think you can go through with the wedding?”
Every day I was a little less sure I could, but we were only five months away from the wedding. The location was booked, the invitations had been sent out, catering was booked, even the flowers, cake, and decorations. The only thing missing was my wedding dress, which I’d avoided shopping for so far.
Canceling the wedding now would cause a major backlash. The Clarks would be majorly offended and possibly take it out on the Outfit. Even if their options for revenge were limited, I didn’t want to cause my family or the Outfit any problems. Not to mention that Santino and I would have to admit to our relationship. Dad and Mom would be very displeased to say the very least.
Sofia sighed. “That’s too long a pause, Anna.”
“I have to. I can’t back out now. Clifford isn’t bad. He’s good-looking, intelligent, driven. Those are all good qualities I’ll appreciate in a marriage.”
“Maybe. Or maybe you’ll resent him because he cost you the love of your life.”
I rolled my eyes. “That’s a bit melodramatic. I never said I was in love with Santino. We slept together these last three years but we aren’t in a real relationship.” Then I shrugged. “Maybe Clifford will divorce me after a few years, then I’m free.”