CHAPTER TWELVE
Have I really become a different woman? Patricia’s words ring through my head as I pull into the lot of the park.
I miss the girl with the paint on her jeans.
I look down at my jeans which were a recent buy. Unlike the old ones stuffed into my drawers, they lack rips and old paint stains.
I haven’t even unpacked my art supplies since we moved into the new house.
I decide it’s a problem for another time as I get out of the car and get the kids out. Tanner takes off the second he sees Aiden on the swings. “Tann-” I shake my head with a sigh. “You can’t just run off like that,” I mutter under my breath as I lift Lilly out of the car. I slam the car door and move over to Jamille who’s sitting on one of the benches with a notebook in her hand, scribbling at it.
“Hey.”
She looks up at the sound of my voice and smiles. “Sorry, just working on expense reports,” she holds the notebook where I can see all the numbers taking up the lines before closing the book and sticking it into her huge handbag.
“Don’t stop on my behalf.”
She shakes her head. “Nah, I really shouldn’t be focused on them unless I’m at work since I already spend most of my time crunching numbers. I’ll be happy once this new location is open and I can get a break.” She rolls her eyes dramatically. She smiles at Lilly and waves at her. Lilly waves back in excitement.
I glance at the playground and note that it isn’t crowded. There’s only a handful of other kids and they all seem to be around the age of five and six.
Start letting her be more independent.
I purse my lips before placing Lilly on the ground. She doesn’t wait as she jets off, immediately going to the artificial sand and sitting in it.
“Lord, that’s going to be a hell of a bath tonight,” Jamille says with a laugh before she turns her eyes to me.
I stay aware of Lilly as I angle my body slightly toward Jamille to talk with her.
“What’s been going on with you in the last couple of days since I saw you, girl?” she asks and something about the bright smile on her face and the kind eyes makes me want to open up to her.
You need friends and Jamille has already become one in the short time that you’ve known her.
I don’t let myself think it over for too long. “I let one of my neighbors go down on me.” Shit, was that too vulgar? We may have jokingly spoken about me sleeping with one of my neighbors before but talking about letting one of them give me oral...
Her eyes widen slightly and she leans in close, her full attention on me. “Holy shit. Really? Was it Nathan or Chase?”
...Okay, so maybe she doesn’t mind.
I shake my head. “No, their other housemate, Emmet.”
Her eyes move toward the sky for a second, “Ah,” she snaps her fingers, “Is he a hot, little skinny thing with long hair and epic jewelry?” She questions. “Has the cutest dog?”
I nod.
She gives me a look of approval, her lips turning up into a grin. “Shit, girl, I’ve seen that man the few times he’s shown up to practice with Nathan or a couple of the games where he brought snacks for the kids and… my goodness.” She fans herself hard enough to send her dark curls flying. “He is one hot specimen of man, a little too young for me, I believe, but perfect for you.”
I shake my head vigorously. “No, I can’t let it be anything other than that one off,” I tell her.
Her mouth drops open slightly. “Umm, why not?”
“The kids,” I gesture in the general area of the parking lot. “Everything is new with us and I’m not prepared to bring anyone into their lives. I especially won’t get involved with a neighbor because what if it ends horrendously?” With my track record, that’s likely how’d it go. “Then we’ll be staying in a toxic environment.” Fuck, I sound like a record, repeating what Patricia said right after she told me the decision was ultimately mine.
Jamille crosses her arms over her chest. “No ma’am, I can’t accept that.”
I raise a brow.
She leans closer to me, her brown eyes serious. “I know we just met and all, but girl let me tell you what I learned early on, you still have to have a life outside kids. You can’t stop living, or in this case, getting some, because of the kids. You can keep the two things separate.”