PROLOGUE
I've always hated winter.
For a long time, it was solely because I share the same name with the coldest season of them all. All the puns and terrible jokes I heard growing up made me despise the name more.
As I grew older, I started to hate winter for more substantial reasons.
The winter I turned ten was the first time that my father hit me.
Three winters later, I found my mother in our run down bathtub, her wrists cut, as blood trickled from the open wounds into the pool of red water. Her eyes were vacant, her head lolled back and the ends of her curly hair submerged in the water. Her lips were parted as if she'd tried to get one last cry for help out before she took her final breath.
The next winter, my body had been taken from me, and given to someone else without my permission for the first time in what would be a prelude to a string of common occurrences.
The winter that saw others celebrating their sweet sixteens, saw my big brother sticking his fingers down my throat after I’d swallowed a handful of sleeping pills.
When my father was killed the winter after, I thought my life would change.
But now as I celebrate the approach of my 21st winter on this earth, I know it's going to be the worst one yet. Because the first day of winter, I become theirs.
"I'm so sorry, Winny." Tears rolled down my brother's brown cheeks. His head is tilted back as he stares up at me, pity in his eyes. Words of apology continue to leave his mouth, but they're just like a busted condom, useless.
My eyes move to the track marks covering his arms, the reason that I'm in this current situation. Just like daddy dearest, my brother is addicted to drugs, and just like with our sperm donor, I'm going to suffer because of it.
My body for their high.
The story of my life.
I close my eyes, taking a deep breath. Cool air breezes along my skin like a subtle warning.
Winter is coming.
And I may not survive it.
"Winny, you know if I had any other choice that I wouldn't be doing this. I promise I never wanted you involved in this." My brother rubs at his arms. The dark limbs are skinnier and frailer than the last time I saw Richard five months ago. Right before he fell off the face of the earth, until yesterday.
I let out a humorless snort, my body numb as I stare at the man who is almost a stranger kneeling in front of me.
If mother wanted to name one of her kids after the seasons, she should have picked Richard. Naming him after fall would have been perfect, considering he's been falling since he fell out of the womb twenty-five years ago.
Falling into the legs of any pretty woman.
Falling into drugs and gambling.
Falling into a debt so deep that the only way he can dig himself out is to throw his sister down the rabbit hole.
Or would hell hole be a better way to say it?
Because where I'm about to go, what I'm about to be put through... it's going to make hell look like a safe haven.
"I... I don't know what happened," Richard continues.
"Shut up," I finally bark out at him. I'm done listening to his pleas and his lies. "I should let them just kill your ass, it'd save me a whole lot of trouble." An understatement.
Richard's red eyes blink as he frantically shakes his head. "I can try to negotiate with them, I can work off my debt some other way. I could convince them to leave you alone." The pretty lies falling from his mouth don't cover the ugly truth.
There is no way out of this.
It's far too late.