* * *
She slept for an hour, and Finn was careful to pretend not to notice when she woke, even though his every sense was honed to her every movement. He kept his nose buried in his book and feigned oblivion, which wasn’t that hard because the book was pretty gripping.
‘Hey,’ she said in sleepy greeting.
‘Hey, yourself, you lazy slob.’ Only then did he allow himself to turn towards her. ‘I didn’t know napping was included on the agenda today.’
‘If I remember correctly, the order for the day was lazing about in the sun on the beach, reading books and a bit of swimming.’ She flicked out a finger. ‘My nap included lying on the beach and—’ she flicked out a second finger ‘—lazing in the sun. So I’m following the remit to the letter, thank you very much.’
The rest had brightened her eyes. And when she stretched her arms back over her head, he noted that her shoulders had lost their hard edge. He noted other things—things that would have Rupert taking a swing at him if he knew—so he did his best to remove those from his mind.
In one fluid motion, she rose. ‘I’m going in for a dip.’
That sounded like an excellent plan. He definitely needed to cool off. Her glance flicked to the scar of his splenectomy when he rose too, and it took an effort to not turn away and hide it from her gaze.
And then she untied her sarong and pulled her T-shirt over her head and it was all he could do to think straight at all.
She nodded at the scar. ‘Does it still hurt?’
He touched the indentations and shook his head. ‘It didn’t really hurt much after it was done either.’ At her raised eyebrows he winked. ‘Wish I could say the same about the broken ribs.’
She huffed out a laugh, and he was grateful when she moved towards the water’s edge without asking any further questions about his accident. Its aftershocks continued to reverberate through him, leaving him at a loss. He didn’t know how much longer he’d have to put up with it. He didn’t know how much longer he could put up with it.
The cold dread that had invaded the pit of his stomach in the moments after his fall invaded him again now, and he broke out in an icy sweat. He’d known in that moment—his skis flying one way and the rest of him going another—that he’d hurt himself badly. He’d understood in a way he never had before that he could die; he had realised he might not make it off the mountain alive.
And every instinct he’d had had screamed a protest against that fate. He hadn’t wanted to die, not yet. There were things he wanted—yearned—to do. If he’d had breath to spare he’d have begged the medical team to save him. But there’d been no breath to spare, and he’d started spiralling in and out of consciousness.
When he’d awoken from surgery...the relief and gratitude...there were no words to describe it. But for the life of him, now that he was all but recovered, he couldn’t remember the things he’d so yearned to do—the reasons why staying alive had seemed so urgent.
All of it had left him with an utter lack of enthusiasm for any of the previous high-octane sports that had once sung to his soul. Had he lost his nerve? He didn’t think so. He didn’t feel afraid. He just—
A jet of water hit him full in the face and shook him immediately out of his thoughts. ‘Lighten up, Finn. I’d have not mentioned the scar if I’d known it’d make you so grim. Don’t worry. I’m sure the girls will still fall at your feet with the same old regularity. The odd scar will probably add to your mystique.’
She thought he was brooding for reasons of...vanity?
She laughed outright at whatever she saw in his face. ‘You’re going to pay for that,’ he promised, scooping water up in his hands.
They were both soaked at the end of their water fight. Audra simply laughed and called him a bully when he picked her up and threw her into the sea.
He let go of her quick smart, though, because she was an armful of delicious woman...and he couldn’t go there. Not with her. ‘Race you out to the buoy.’
‘Not a chance.’ She caressed the surface of the water with an unconscious sensuality that had his gut clenching. ‘I’m feeling too Zen after that meditation. And, if you’ll kindly remember, there’s no racing on today’s agenda, thank you very much.’
‘Wait until tomorrow.’
She stuck her nose in the air. ‘Please don’t disturb me while I’m living in the moment.’
With a laugh, he turned and swam out to the buoy. He didn’t rush, but simply relished the way his body slid through the water, relished how good it felt to be rid of the cast. He did five laps there and back before his left arm started up a dull ache...and before he could resist finding out what Audra was up to.