He glanced across at where she floated on her back, her face lifted to the sky. He couldn’t tell from here whether she had her eyes open or closed. She looked relaxed—now. And while now she might also be all grown up, during their water fight she’d laughed and squealed as she had when a girl.
He had a feeling, though, that when her short holiday was over all that tension would descend on her again, pulling her tight. Because...?
Because she wasn’t doing the things that gave her joy, wasn’t living the life that she should be living. And he had a growing conviction that this wasn’t a new development, but an old one he’d never picked up on before. He had no idea how to broach the topic either. She could be undeniably prickly, and she valued her privacy. Just like you do. She’d tell him to take a flying leap and mind his own business. And that’d be that.
Walk away. He didn’t do encouraging confidences. He didn’t do complicated. And it didn’t matter which way he looked at it—Audra had always been complicated. Fun and laughter, those were his forte.
He glided through the water towards her until he was just a couple of feet away. ‘Boo.’
He didn’t shout the word, just said it in a normal tone, but she started so violently he immediately felt sick to his gut. She spun around, the colour leaching from her face, and he wanted to kick himself—hard. ‘Damn, Audra, I didn’t mean to scare the living daylights out of you.’
She never used to startle this easily. What the hell had happened to change that?
None of the scenarios that played in his mind gave him the slightest bit of comfort.
‘Glad I didn’t grab you round the waist to tug you under, which had been my first thought.’ He said it to try to lighten the moment. When they were kids they all used to dunk each other mercilessly.
If possible she went even paler. And then she ducked under the water, resurfacing a moment later to slick her hair back from her face. ‘Note to self,’ she said with remarkable self-possession, though he noted the way her hands shook. ‘Don’t practise meditation in the sea when Finn is around.’
He wanted to apologise again, but it’d be making too big a deal out of it and he instinctively knew that would make her defensive.
‘I might head in.’ She started a lazy breaststroke back towards the shore. ‘How many laps did you do?’
‘Just a couple.’ Had she been watching him?
‘How does the arm feel?’
He bit back a snap response. It’s fine. And can we just forget about my accident already? She didn’t deserve that. She had to know he didn’t like talking about his injuries, but if this was the punishment she’d chosen for his ill-timed Boo then he’d take it like a man. ‘Dishearteningly weak.’
Her gaze softened. ‘You’ll get your fitness back, Finn. Just don’t push it too hard in these early days.’
He’d had every intention of getting to Kyanós and then swimming and running every day without mercy until he’d proven to himself that he was as fit as he’d been prior to his accident. And yet he found himself more than content at the moment to keep pace beside her. He rolled his shoulders. He’d only been here a couple of days. That old fire would return to his belly soon enough.
He pounced on the cooler bag as soon as he’d towelled off. ‘I’m famished.’
He tossed her a peach, which she juggled, nearly dropped and finally caught. He grinned and bit into a second peach. The fragrant flesh and sweet juice hitting the back of his throat tasted better than anything he’d eaten in the last eight weeks. He groaned his pleasure, closing his eyes to savour it all the more. When he opened his eyes again, he found her staring at him as if she’d never seen him before.
Hell, no! Don’t look at me like that, Audra.
Like a woman who looked at a man and considered his...um...finer points. It made his skin go hot and tight. It made him want to reach out, slide a hand behind the back of her head and pull her close and—
He glanced out to sea, his pulse racing. He wanted to put colour back into her cheeks, but not like that. The two of them were like oil and water. If he did something stupid now, it’d impact on his relationship with her entire family, and the Russels and his uncle Ned were the only family he had.
He dragged in a gulp of air. Given his current state of mind, he had to be hyper-vigilant that he didn’t mess all this up. He had a history of bringing trouble to the doors of those he cared about—Rupert all those years ago, and now Joachim. Rupert was right—Audra had been through enough. He had no intention of bringing more trouble down on her head.