He froze, noticing the Japanese characters switching to English on the cover with the Webster logo in the corner. His lips worked, his jaw clenched, he shook his head. “Why?”
He didn’t need to add more.
Why this?
Why a dictionary?
Why the language of his mixed heritage?
I flushed with yet more shame for thinking I had a right to dabble and use what little I knew about him for my own purpose. Stealing had been terrible. Having him refuse my gift would be horrifying.
“Because you gave me back the gift of language. You reminded me how to speak. You bridged the gap somehow, and now, I’m no longer afraid of words.”
Elder groaned, his brow falling over his eyes now tortured and full of pain. “Pim…stop.”
“No, you asked. I stole it for you. I know it doesn’t have a large cash value. In fact, it’s dog-eared and well-used. But it carries so much I need to say to you. To prove just how grateful I am. We might all speak different verses and use foreign alphabets, but you understand me. I don’t want to be silent anymore. I want to talk. To you. I want to understand—”
“Enough.” He shuddered, clutching the dictionary tight. His throat worked as if fighting to respond then his features slipped into unreadable as he asked, “Do you know Japanese?”
His subject change slowed me, but I willingly followed his direction. If he wasn’t ready to discuss what happened between us last night and the fight we’d had this morning, then fine. I could be patient because unlike Elder, who had a finish line in mind for us, I had no intention of letting it end. “No. I studied one year at school, but I’ve forgotten most of it.” I took a step forward, looking harder into his eyes. “Do you?”
He swiped a hand over his face. “You already know the answer to that question.”
We shared a stare, and I saw the reply I already knew. He was born to mixed-race parents. He lived in the valley of East and West and been raised with blended laws and requirements.
He was honourable as well as ruthless.
He was kind as well as cruel.
He was everything I wanted to be and everything I feared.
Then again, if he could speak Japanese, he’d learned it from his mother’s side, yet she hadn’t yelled at him in Japanese, only English. Why was that? Perhaps having a European father meant his mother talked in English out of respect for his memory? Maybe she just preferred it?
Who knew?
Only Elder had the answers, and once again, I was willing to be patient to earn them.
“Teach me?” I asked softly.
“Japanese?”
“Everything.” My voice owned that word—begged him to make it true. Inside those four syllables and ten letters lived acceptance; I was ready for him to teach me to play the cello, learn his history, and let him educate me on everything I missed out on.
Starting tonight with sex and passion and lust and love and all things I desperately needed.
The sun extinguished behind him, leaving us in twilight.
Endless moments ticked past before he pressed the book to his heart and nodded. “I’ll teach you whatever you want to know.” He paused, signalling an end to his sentence. But then his face softened, the mood darkened, and his lips moved with sensual promise. “I’ll show you anything you want to see, Pimlico.” His hand came up, cupping my face for a blistering second. “For you, I’ll do anything.”
The moment was far too big for a small sunset on a crowded beach; far too moving to be wasted in public.
I ached at the sacrifice in his tone; the knowledge he would hurt himself to give me what I wanted.
His temper from this morning was gone. He’d finally reached the same conclusion I had—that we had no choice. We had to hold on and give in and hope we survived whatever it was our bodies and hearts and souls had decided we must endure.
Standing with sand between my toes and sweat upon my skin, I’d never been more alive, more sure, more ready to step forward into something so incredibly special.
I’d had sex with this man and remained unbroken.
I’d lived with this man and remained unhurt.
I’d fought with this man and remained unbruised.
And now, I hugged this man and found a new home.
My arms went around him, my face nestled into his strong chest, my body kissed his from shoulder to hip.
I hugged this man and in some wonderful twist of fate…he hugged me back.
* * * * *
“It’s getting dark.”
I glanced at Elder who’d moved stealthily beside me for the past half an hour. His eyes were never still, hunting the public, expecting evil when I only saw romance. I didn’t know why he was so alert or why he stayed so close to me. I wanted to ask but I also didn’t want to ruin this wonderful stroll like a normal couple.