We’d walked the beach as it slowly became deserted.
We were just like the other men and women in love.
After our hug, we’d separated shyly, looking away and making excuses to walk and focus ahead rather than stand and stare at each other.
Elder sent Lance and Bill away, and our tingling connection hadn’t faded. It sparkled around us like stardust as night slowly draped Monte Carlo. Streetlights turned on, battling away the gloom and reminding people sunbaking was over, and it was now time to party with the moon.
People slowly gathered up deck chairs and sodden towels, hoisted up sandy clothes over soggy bathing suits, and tramped up the beach.
Hotels everywhere would be drenched in salt water and sprinkled with sand from returning tourists.
The more people left, the more aware of Elder I became until we were the only two people left with the soft slap of waves on the shore.
We stopped and faced each other, neither ready for tonight even though it was the only thing I could think about.
I was neither hungry nor energetic. Weary nor eager.
The electricity hissing between us exhausted me to the point where I didn’t know if I was ready to return to the hotel or not. If I was prepared or not. The last time Elder and I were alone, we fought. Would he fight me again over this? Did it make me a horrible person that I knew this would be hard for him, yet I didn’t give him a chance to change his mind?
Elder cleared his throat. “Did you hear me? I said it’s getting dark.” He rubbed his nape. “That was a hint that we should think about going back.”
I walked ahead a little before turning to face him reluctantly. I didn’t know what had changed in the thirty-one minutes since I’d given him the stolen dictionary. Why I’d traded certainty for unsureness and why the very idea of touching him made half of my body warm and melt and the other want to throw itself in the ocean and never stop swimming.
The gentle lap of waves was the only noise as Elder murmured, “We don’t have to do this again, Pim. If you’re not ready.”
I searched his tone for hidden messages. Was he not ready? Would he rather we didn’t have sex again?
You already know the answer to that, silly.
The balmy breeze snatched my hair, whipping it over my shoulder.
Elder came forward, capturing the wayward strands, his warm fingers kissing my neck before settling on my shoulder with a fistful of brown locks. “There is no right or wrong answer here. Forget about what we discussed this morning. If you’ve changed your mind, then we can return to the Phantom and go back to the way things were.” He swayed closer, whispering in my ear. “You’re the one with all the power.”
I shivered, wishing his lips would close the distance and kiss me.
He thought I was the one with all the power? Couldn’t he see that was a lie? I didn’t have the power. He did. He had every power.
Power of strength and wealth and security. Even standing tall and strict, holding my hair, not touching me in any other way, made him the master of everything because he didn’t use violence on me but let me choose.
That alone gave me all the confidence I needed.
I choose you.
I choose tonight.
“Let’s go back to the hotel.”
His eyes tightened. “Are you sure?” He looked toward the watery horizon where the Phantom glittered in the distance like an expensive jewel on the crown of a water god. “We could return home.”
Home…
He made it sound like he’d already given me half of that wonderful word. That I had a home. That I had permanency even when whatever we danced around hadn’t been named.
Letting me go, Elder rubbed his chin, weary and wary. “We can try another time. When you’re—”
I held up my hand. “When I’m what?”
His face shadowed with pockets of frustration. “When you’re more sure it’s me you need. That another night with me is—”
“It is you I need.”
“How can you be sure? After all, I was the man who stole you. I kept you away from everyone. I did exactly what he did and imprisoned you. If you have feelings for me, they’re because I put them there.” He stalked away, dragging tormented eyes from the horizon back to me. “I don’t want to be the man who—”
I followed him, clutching his forearm, needing to lean on him while he tried to pull away the foundation he’d built beneath my feet. “Are you saying you don’t want me? That you’re the one having second thoughts?”
“Jesus, Pim.” He groaned at the silver moon. “How many times do I need to tell you? Fucking you is all I can think about. It’s the only thing I can worry about. You want me? I’m yours. Hell, I’d take you right here on the beach if you asked me.”