Her head fell forward, chocolate hair cascading over her shoulder. She shuddered.
I hadn’t planned on participating, but goddammit, she made it hard with those sexy pants and nibbles of her bottom lip.
“Sink on me. Let me fill you.”
Pim took a deep breath then slowly switched from bracing against my urgency to sitting deeper into my lap. Each action and muscle clench sent her farther down my cock. Each inch sent my mind to places it should never go.
Don’t give in.
Promises and pledges whispered for me to just stop fighting. That I could let go and still be me. That I could fuck Pim with no holding back and somehow climb from the pit I desperately wanted to jump head-first into.
But I knew those sirens swimming inside my skull, and I knew they were the most artful of liars. I could never give in.
I need this over.
I’m too close.
Ignoring my cautioning, I threw my head back, eyes rolling at the sheer heaven of being inside her. “That’s it. Keep going.”
All I could think about was being surrounded by her. Ruled by her. When inside her, I thought of nothing else. No numbers. No quickness. Just her. Just rapidly building obsession bulldozing through my rules and whispering how good it would be just to always think of her. To never worry about other things again. To never have to conquer another task as long as I conquered her.
Forever her. Nothing but her.
Her.
Her.
Her.
The call was sweet, strong, seducing.
I slipped a little more.
Finally, she sat over me, her thighs imprisoning my hips, my entire length deep in her body. Her skin wavered between white with discomfort and pink with satisfaction. Her pupils dilated until I swore I could sink inside them and never find my way back.
I could so easily. I could stop clinging to a life where mania constantly tried to split me in a hundred exhausting ways and slip into one. She could be my cello. I could play her night and day.
The idea grew, billowing like mind-twisting smoke until I choked.
Her hands landed on my stomach, her fingernails pinpricks on my skin. “I’ve never…been on top before.”
A caveman rush came over me. Yet another first I’d taken. There were so many more I could steal. The thief in me sat up in lawless glee. Why did I want to stop at this? Why not teach her everything? Why not steal her every first and be inside her twenty-four seven?
The ceiling lights cast her shadow over me bound beneath her. With her pinning me down, the sensation of being owned scrambled my thoughts.
I didn’t like it. I fought my addictions hard, but how could I fight this new one? The new obsession that’d firmly planted itself into this woman who already had me shackled and prone for her use?
Wasn’t that what always happened? I gave in and became enslaved. I fought, yet I was already tied tight.
And then, she began to move.
The staggering hunger decimated my system as whatever mayhem inside me opened its flood-gates. A thousand things demanded I obey all at once. A million dirty, filthy things all swirling around this woman like a hurricane.
My wrists jerked in the ropes, my teeth ached, and my heartbeat relocated to my cock and fingertips.
I could only think about one thing.
I could only crave. One. Thing.
She rocked again, claiming me, making me goddamn insane.
“Elder, talk to me. Please.”
Her beg unravelled the rest of my sanity, and unspeakable things became the only things I wanted.
Once upon a time, I was addicted to the cries of men in pain as I hurt them for the Chinmoku. I’d shattered knees for pleasure. I’d fought, not for glory, but because I had no choice. I was trapped in my mind and the calling of my blood.
That calling had murdered those I loved.
That calling had caused me to live a life alone and unwanted.
And now it was back with claws and teeth, demanding I rivet myself to a new enslavement.
Her.
Whispers worked their way through me.
I felt it.
I heard it.
I became crippled with it.
I no longer wanted her to end this. I wanted her to keep going to finalize my fall.
I couldn’t talk without snarling. I couldn’t behave without breaking.
This wasn’t working.
I was losing.
I was restless and callous and fixated on the need to drive into her at my pace, not hers.
I was no longer the man I’d diligently groomed myself to be.
I was no longer in control.
No matter how much I’d promised myself, I was back to being the animal I’d tried to slay and never could.
Beneath the thickening welcome of obsession shined the tiniest sabre of light. If I could cling tight enough, I might be able to stop this.
Before it was too late.
“Pim…”
Her eyes turned to shimmering moons at the struggle in my tone. At the conflict tearing my skin from soul.