The way she slid her hand off my thigh and rolled my balls in her palm made my eyesight grow hazy. She was totally focused, her eyes closed and her breath puffing out of her nose against my pelvis in short pants. It didn’t take long before I was pulling at her hair, eventually pulling her mouth completely off me.
She didn’t swallow, but she did pull her tank top down so I could come all over her breasts and neck like I was fucking marking her or something.
When she was done, she walked toward the bathroom and I moved for the door, tucking myself back into my pants. When I looked over the railing at the top of the stairs, Gunner was still in his playpen and the older kids were still sitting quietly watching cartoons.
I’d just gotten back into my room when she came out of the bathroom, her neck and chest once again clean and covered, and her lips rosy and swollen.
Keller bursting into the room hadn’t pulled me out of the fog I was in. Neither had the changes pregnancy had made to her body. I hadn’t stopped when I’d realized the taste of her body had changed or when she’d gone onto her knees. But for some reason, the words that came out of her mouth as she met me in the middle of the room were like a bucket of cold water shocking me into the present.
“I’m going to go down and finish dinner,” she said with a small smile.
It was way too fucking domestic. Glad I got you off, honey. Now I need to go back to feed the kids.
“This shouldn’t have happened,” I replied, erasing that smile. “What the fuck were we thinking?”
“Oh. Wow. Okay.” She barked out a quiet derisive laugh and shook her head once. “You’re totally right. Won’t happen again,” she assured me with a small salute.
“This isn’t your house,” I stubbornly continued on, the pain in my chest and the guilt in my belly feeling like they were going to burn their way out. “I’m not your husband.”
“No, really?”
“I’m not going to play house with you, Kate.”
“I didn’t realize that’s what we were doing.”
“I’m grateful, so fucking grateful, that you take care of the kids the way you do. I know you do it because you love them, and they love you just as much.”
She was silent as I tried to gather my thoughts, but there were so many tumbling around in my head that I couldn’t make myself say what I wanted to, and everything that was coming out sounded bitter and condescending.
“You and me are never going to happen, Kate. Okay? I’m not sure what you’re thinking, if you thought we’d just be one big happy family or something, but we won’t. You’re not Rachel. You’re just not, and you’re nice, but I don’t feel that way about you.”
She nodded, looking over my shoulder, and I watched her swallow hard before turning away from me.
“You’re not going to say anything?” I asked as she reached the doorway.
“I think it’s already been said, don’t you?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. “I’m not chasing you, Shane. Whatever it is you’re seeing isn’t there. You asked me to come in here. You kissed me. You got me off, so I returned the favor. I didn’t initiate any of that.”
“You’re right. My mistake,” I ground out.
“You don’t think of me that way, but you have no problem sticking your fingers in any hole you can reach, right?” She shook her head and sighed. “I don’t need this shit. Don’t touch me again.”
I hopped in the shower as soon as I heard her walking down the stairs and grit my teeth as I washed my still painfully swollen erection. I’d just gotten some of the best head in my life, and I was still hard. When I finally got my body under control, I slipped into some shorts and an old T-shirt and headed downstairs just as the front door closed softly.
“Where’s your auntie?” I asked Sage as I picked Gunner up.
“She left. She said to tell you the biscuits are on top of the stove and the stew is ready in the Crock-Pot,” she replied, walking past me toward the kitchen.
When the kids were settled and food had been passed out, I finally took a deep breath in relief. This was how it was supposed to be. Just me and my kids.
Then I realized Kate had quietly left without eating any of the comfort food she’d been so excited about, and I felt like the biggest dick on the planet.
Chapter 6
Kate
Hey, big brother!” I answered my phone as cheerfully as I could while scrolling through my work email.
Only a couple of days remained until Shane left on his deployment, and I was scrambling to get as much done as I could while he had some days home with the kids. Between taking care of the little monsters and being sick as a dog still, I was having a hard time keeping up with the few clients I had left, and they were getting antsy. I was exhausted, and most nights when I walked into my tiny apartment I just wanted to crawl into my bed and sleep—but I couldn’t. Work started the minute I finally put my feet up, and without the crutch of caffeine I was having a hell of a time staying awake late enough to get anything done.