It takes a while. Long enough for the kettle to steam. For me to fill my mug.
“There.” She sighs with relief as our usual soundtrack fills the room. Lorde. Like this is any other day, and not my eighteenth birthday.
Not the day I slept with Holden.
That I lost my virginity.
God, it’s still hard to believe.
She grabs her coffee, returns to the room, stays close enough to whisper. “You didn’t?”
“No, we uh… weren’t you saying something?”
“Fuck that. I want details.”
“This is how he and Oliver talk.”
“And?”
“Aren’t we supposed to be… better than that?”
She looks at me like I’m crazy. “Why?”
“I don’t know. Dad would—”
“Tell you that as long as you trust him and you’re safe, it’s all good.”
I cringe at the thought of my dad’s sex talk.
“God, Gabe is so hot. You think Oliver will look like that in twenty years?”
“I think please no to the rest of this conversation.”
“Don’t worry. I think Oliver is hotter. But there’s something about Gabe. A real daddy vibe.”
“Please. Stop.”
She laughs. Takes a sip of her coffee. Laughs more. “Neither of you did oral?”
“No. I, uh… I wanted to. To touch him. Taste him. Feel him. He’s really—” My blush deepens. “Big.”
She holds her hands about six inches apart. “Or?” She pulls them wider, wider—
“There.”
“Damn.” She looks at her spread hands. “That is a lot.”
“Yeah.”
“Did it hurt?”
“A little.”
“He made you come?”
I nod. “He asked me to touch myself.”
“Damn.” She makes a show of fanning herself. “I didn’t think he had it in him.”
“You didn’t?”
She shakes her head. “He’s hot, yeah, but in a… I guess I just prefer the brooding ones.”
“I swear to God, one more word about a Flynn male being hot and I’m leaving.”
She laughs. “It was good?”
“Really good. Different. Not just physically but emotionally too.”
“Intimate?”
“Yeah.”
“And now…” Her expression softens. “Do you know what you’re doing?”
“We’re just… hanging out. For the rest of the trip.”
“That’s it?”
“Yeah.”
“Four days then you part ways? You go to college? Find some educated guy to satisfy you?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re okay with that?”
“It was my idea.” And it’s fine. It’s totally fine. I mean, it’s the only reasonable course of action. So it has to be fine.
Her eyes narrow. “Daisy… I love you. I say this with all the love in the world. Okay?”
I nod go for it.
“There’s no way you believe you’re okay with that.”
I bite my lip.
“Maybe it’s just… how it has to be. But if that’s really what you’re doing, be honest with yourself about how it’s going to break you.”
“It won’t—”
“And if it’s not how it has to be… be honest with him about what you really want?”
“This is what I want.”
“Look me in the eyes when you say it.”
I try. But as soon as my gaze meets hers, the words dissolve.
My best friend is right. It’s bullshit. I can’t stand the thought of kissing him goodbye.
But it’s a problem for later.
I’m enjoying my stay in Mexico.
Even if it means spending my first night home crying myself to sleep.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Daisy
As usual, Oliver emerges from his shower slightly grumpy. He chugs a milky cup of lukewarm coffee. Chases it with two aspirin. Transforms from Oscar the Grouch to mildly brooding and aloof.
“You ready?” He nods good morning to me and Luna.
She pats her tote bag. “Water, snacks, towels.” She shoots him a knowing look. “Advil.”
He chuckles. Reaches for something on the counter. The bottle of tequila. “If the birthday girl requests it.”
“Can I request you actually swimming for once?” I ask.
His nose scrunches in distaste. “I’ll think about it.”
“Bring it if you want.” Not thinking about my brother’s drinking. Not today.
He nods sure, crosses the room, hands the bottle to Luna.
He gets as close as possible. Well, as close as he can get without making it clear he’s trying to fuck her. Then he gets closer.
Whispers in her ear.
She laughs. Nods a yes. Watches as he releases her, moves down the hall to the bathroom, slams the door closed.
I raise a brow.
“Birthday surprise,” she says.
“Not your desire to mount him?”
She mimes pulling her lips zipped. “I promised not to discuss matters of Flynn hotness.”
“Would you?” I ask.
“Sleep with your brother?”
I nod yeah.
“Sisters before misters.”
“If you really think he’ll make you happy…” I love Luna. I love Oliver. I almost love the thought of them together. If they got married, she’d be my sister. She’d be in my life forever.
But I know them both.
And they—
It’s not a good idea. Maybe if he was sober it would be different, but he’s not.
“I think… I need more coffee.” She squeezes me. Moves into the kitchen. Fills a cup with what’s left in the coffee maker. “He’s usually better than this.”
Footsteps move down the stairs.
The hall door opens.
Like they’re working in unison, Holden and Oliver approach from opposite sides of the house.
My blush deepens as my eyes meet Holden’s.
His cheeks flush. His smile gets goofy.